Alaska

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"¡™$ ™ΘΘ ©Θ˩DZ!"

―Some Alaskan

Alaska is one of the coldest planets in the universe and is home to the Alaskans.

[Edit] History

"BRING IT OOOONNN, JACK FROST!!!"

―An anonymous Alaskan

Alaska was found in 19 BBY by Darth Lucas when he crashed his S-Class bomber on the then-unnamed planet. Lucas didn't care a charbroiled Rodian pate biscuit about it so he left it abandoned. However, 7 months later by the Galactic Standard Calendar, 63 minutes later by local time, and the exact same time by Lucas' watch (its battery had died), a big, hairy monster arose from the snow. It named itself Darth Alaskan and proceeded to create fellow Alaskans to serve as minions.

Tragically, Darth Alaskan had little, if any, knowledge of anatomy and failed to include volume caps for adrenal glands. The resulting frenzy of hyperactivity led to the construction of the Death Star, the founding of the Old Republic, the overthrowing of said government, the invention of yo-yos, the landing of a man on the moon, and subsequent melting due to overheating. Left with only puddles of toxinated water, Darth Alaskan abandoned the planet.

However, 7 months later by the Galactic Standard Calendar, a big, hairy monster arose from the snow....

[Edit] Destruction

Alaska was destroyed by Darth Hancock

[Edit] Behind the scenes

• Darth Vader was most displeased when he heard of this event. He had been planning on taking care of Alaska in his own way for quite some time.