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Atton Rand

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Atton Rand
Atton Rand
Biographical information
Homeworld

Taris

Born

On a poker table

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Hair color

Brown

Eye color

Brown

Cybernetics

Balls

Chronological and political information
Affiliation
  • Your mom's bedroom
  • Jedi
"And you scratch your... equipment... when you think no one's looking."
Mira

Atton "Jaq (or Jaq-ass)" Rand was a gambler from Nar Shadada. He was one of the bitches companions of the Jedi Exile, joining her on her quest for poontang.

BiographyEdit

Early LifeEdit

Atton was born in the upper-city of Taris. When his parents realized how much of an ass he was, they gave him to a gay Wookie named Steven. Steven took him on his ship and touched his "no-no's" a few times before dumping him on Nar Shadada. He then went and discovered the magical art called pazaak.

Meeting The ExileEdit

"If I was straight...well, I probably still wouldn't sleep with you."
―The Exile

Atton met up with the Jedi Exile, who was FEMALE, ya dumb shits, on some weird rock place. Also there was a homicidal droid and an old bitch. Atton, the Exile, and Kreia then teamed up, fought the seriously fucked up droid, got on some crappy ship, fought an emo, got back a teeny midget droid, and left.

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Atton Rand.

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