|BIG Darth Z's BIG Movie|
January 1st, 2010
Galactic Basic Standa...oh heck, Inglesh
BIG Darth Z's BIG Movie, also known by its working title P is for PWNing is a 2010 film centered on Sith Lord BIG Darth Z's rise to powah. The film has received an R rating for intense language, sex, violence, drug use, and frightening moments. This was changed to NC-17 in
Chinka China. It grossed 6.5 billion at the box office.
Synopsis EditThe film opens with a castaway (Tom Kenny) stranded on an unknown beach, holding a Wilson basketball. He speaks with the ball about him being a Coruscant law enforcer and how he was on a month-long retreat that ended in disaster after his yacht sank by being overturned in a storm. Suddenly a gigantic tsunami consumes the castaway. The hum and shine of a red lightsurfboard is last seen. The screen cuts to a restaurant on Utapau. Here, General Grievous (Gary Oldman) is wallowing in self-pity after yet another defeat. Across the room, Garfield Cat (Darth Superstar) notices this. He and his many hoes (all portrayed by Megan Fox) gather around Grievous to offer him a job. He is told about a rogue Darth named BIG Darth Z (himself) who lives on a remote island. Grievous accepts the mission of hunting down Z, but soon after he leaves, Darth Grievous (Heath Ledger) arrives and replaces the lamer Grievous, being told to kill the latter as well as BIG Darth Z. The screen then takes us to a private plane being boarded by Grievous, Darth Grievous in disguise, a few others, and a cloaked figure. When the aircraft is well up in the air, Darth Grievous takes off his disguise and attempts to PWN the other Grievous, but is caught by the cloaked figure who reveals himself to be The Grinch (Jim Carrey). The Wookiee tells them that he is working for Zurfing Co, a competition founded by BIG Darth Z himself. He was sent out to ASS ASS inate (he he he) the Grievouses. This attempt proves useless, though, because The Binch is immediately chopped up by his opponents' eight lightsabers. The pilot (Ziggy Marley) gets frustrated and accidentally breaks the controls. He then resorts to playing Iron Lion Zion on his ukulele as they crash and burn, making the plane (David Spade) say "What the Fuck?" The pilot and all the passengers make it out, leaving the plane to burn in Hell. The three survivors and Ziggy Marley's ukulele are greeted by a tribe of Indians who tell them they are on BIG Darth Z's Island aka BIG Beach.
- Grievous: "Wait, if we're at our destination, then why didn't you start descending when we were close?"
- Ziggy Marley: "You noosa talka to meesa like that, poony whity boy!"
- Grievous: "You're a fucking idiot! Now we have no escape!"
- Ziggy Marley: "Don' worry about a thing, 'cos evvy leetle thing ees gonna be alrahight!"
- --Grievous being Grievous and Ziggy Marley being racist to his own race
Confederacy of Independent Systems Edit
- Gary Oldman as General Grievous. The General of the Separatists who finds himself on a mission to destroy the rogue BIG Darth Z, but later gets replaced by his arch-rival. Because of the character's larger role in this film, Matthew Wood was replaced by the better-known Gary Oldman to portray Grievous.
- Heath Ledger and Gary Oldman as Darth Grievous. Grievous' arch-enemy, sent to assassinate him and BIG Darth Z. About three quarters of his dialog are voiced by Heath Ledger, but due to the actor's death, Gary Oldman had to voice the remainder of his lines. One of the film's supporting antagonists.
- Ziggy Marley/Darth Reggae as himself. The slightly deranged Jamaican pilot.
- Darth Superstar as Garfield Cat. Better known for his appearance in the Garfield series, this Sep is out to get BIG Darth Z. The real Garfield was asked to play himself, but later declined because he was occupied. However, he will be in the sequel.
- Megan Fox as Garfield's hoes.
- Aunt Jemima Butterworth makes a cameo as herself selling hot dogs to droids.
- Matthew Wood as the battle droids.
- Fergie makes a cameo as a plane passenger.
- David Spade as the plane.
- John Heder as Chicken Joe, a Zurfer.
- Kelly Slater, Frank Welker, Hugo Weaving, Jim Cummings, Billy West, and Katey Sagal make cameo appearances as the Zurfers.
Zurfing Co. Edit
- BIG Darth Z as himself. The rogue Sith being hunted by the Grievouses who disappeared at the end of the film. Also the film's main antagonist.
- Jim Carrey reprises his role as The Grinch. An agent to BIG Darth Z. He is killed by the Grievouses.
- Barbara Streisand as The BIG One. A wave commanded by Z. Queen Latifah will portray it in the sequel, for a larger appearance.
- Arnold Shwartzegerman and Roland Kickass as Darth Cody Maverick. Appeared as the lightsurfboard wielder at the end of the film. Confirmed to be Maverick by director George Lucas. Kickass portrayed him physically, while Shwartzegerman provided vocal effects.
Galactic Republic Edit
- Tom Kenny as a castaway consumed by The BIG One.
- Wilson as himself. Previously used in Castaway
The film received extremely positive reviews by critics and audiences alike. It garnered an 88% on Rotten Tomatoes, with a 93% from select notable critics and a 100% from the RT community. Darth Roger Eggbert quoted "If good movies could destroy things, this movie would destroy your planet!
A sequel entitled BIG Darth Z: The Wave Strikes Back is set for release in 2012. Lucas and Bay will return to direct and produce, while Darth Roger Eggbert will again write the script. A cast list has been established:
- BIG Darth Z as Himself
- Gary Oldman as General Grievous
- Matthew Wood as the voice of General Grievous
- Darth Reggae as Himself
- Garfield Cat as Himself
- Reggie Belafonte as Himself
- Tom Kenny as SpongeBob SquarePants
- Patrick Warburton as Patrick Star
- Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs and Darth Krab
- Roland Kickass as Darth Cody Maverick
- Shia LaBoeuf as the voice of Darth Cody Maverick
- John Heder as Darth Chicken Joe
- Jemima Butterworth as The Eccentric Bitch Doctor
- Darth Reggae Legend as The Eccentric Guru
- Jim Belushi as the Wiki Tiki
- Queen Latifah as The BIG One
- Adam West as The Adam West Guy
- Kelly Slater, Fergie, Frank Welker, Billy West, Zooey Deschanel, Hugo Weaving, Jim Cummings, and Katey Sagal as the Zurfers
- Surf's Up is a parody of this film.
- BIG Darth Z, Ziggy Marley, Tom Kenny, Fergie, Kelly Slater, Billy West, Katey Sagal, and Aunt Jemima appear as themselves.
- Darth Darth Binks filed a lawsuit against Universal for mocking Jamaicans. He lost.