|Darth Bananaskin Groundhopper|
When he was born
When he died
|Chronological and political information|
"Bananaskin" Groundhopper was the father of Jake Groundhopper, backup Chosen One of the Force, secondary hero of the Clone Wars and leader of the Grand Army of Banana Peels. How his son came to be a Twi'lek is uncertain (especially once it is considered that his father was a Banana peel, after all). Bananaskin Groundhopper was notable for being one of the worst generals in the galaxy, having only one victory to his credit.
Bananaskin's career began when he was a Banana. He could have been the Darkest Dark Lord of the Sith, but wasn't allowed to because he was a Banana. His son Jake would face similar racism from the Force. But now let me go back to our story: something came along and tore off his peel and used his innards to make some Yummy Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies. This made him mad. Now a Banana peel, he decided to gather an army of likewise minded Banana peels and form the Grand Army of Banana Peels. After gathering
100 Banana peels many many Banana peels, he led an assault against the thing that had turned his insides into cookies. However, he did not understand the power of Cookie Monster and the Dark Side, so the army was decimated. Many Banana peels were taken by Cookie Monster and made into a new batch of cookies. This was a terrible setback for the vengeful Bananaskin. He ordered a retreat to Kashyyyk.
Bananaskin led his
20 remaining Banana peels Grand Army of Banana Peels to Kashyyyk. The local Wookiees, seeing what appeared to be a buffet, decided to eat the Grand Army. This did not go well with Bananaskin, so he ordered another retreat. They fled in a hyperspace trash bin to a nearby asteroid field where they were reinforced by more Banana peels. It was there they met Darth Bob.
Darth Bob wished to use the Grand Army of the Banana Peels to aid him in the destruction of Darth Darth Binks. Bananaskin agreed, and Darth Bob took him as his apprentice. He was now a Sith. The fleet of hyperspace trash cans set a course for the Gungun Sith Lords lair. Upon reaching Darth Darth Binks, Bananaskin betrayed his master and The Grand Army defected to Binks because they saw he had the power of Force pwn. Darth Bob was dead within 2 seconds of reaching Darth Darth Binks.
Darth Darth Binks was terrified at the sight of the now Darth Bananaskin and his Grand Army, so he sent them off in a flying dishwasher to explore the galaxy. They encountered KHAAAN!!!, a psychopathic Sith Mega Supah Dupa Sith Overlord who hired them to man his fleet of dirigibles. Bananaskin was made Admiral. They set a course for Endor to establish KHAAAAAAN'S!!! Ewok Burger Patties, a fast food chain. The Ewoks were most displeased with this enterprise and attacked Darth Bananaskin and his Grand Army while on routine patrol, popping the dirigibles with their sticks. This left the Grand Army stranded on the surface.
KHAAAAAAN!!! was infuriated. He attacked in his inter-galactic Ice Cream Truck in concert with his Rubber Ducky and the Grand Army of Banana Peels in what became known as The PWNing of the Ewoks. The Ewoks were utterly, totally, absolutely, entirely, permanently PWNed. Having decimated the Ewoks, KHAAAAAAN!!! left, letting Darth Bananaskin and the Grand Army of Banana Peels go their own way while he went on his quest for a more profitable fast food chain.
Darth Bananaskin took the Grand Army to Mandalore, where he led the Army to its only victory. Hired by the Mando'ade Mafia, they lay in wait on the steps of a local biker bar for Cassus Fett the Lesser, a Cassus Fett loser wannabe. The Drunken Fett the Lesser slipped on the Grand Army of Banana Peels and fell into his Giant Cheese Grater, and you really don't want to know what happened to him afterward.
Death and ControversyEdit
He did not die with the rest of the Grand Army when they were eaten by a mysterious being, but rather was tragically eaten by his own son, Jake Groundhopper, who had mistaken his father for breakfast. How (and when) he had a child in the form of Jake Groundhopper, is unknown. The only similarity Jake had to his father was his yellow skin and that his lekku looked like a giant Banana peel. Why his son was a Twi'lek while his father was a Banana peel has been debated by experts ever since. Regardless, he was immortalized as a hero by all Banana peels for generations to come.
Powers and LightsaberEdit
He was one the few to master Force slip on a banana peel. He was a very boring person to talk to, and this made him adept at Force bore to death, but this was not his fault because he had no mouth. This made him a very unique Sith.
His lightsaber was yellow. This made him very, very unique. He did not like red because it didn't match his Banana self.