- "I'm a moron. I was trying to replace my doorknob, but the old one won't come out of the wall. So, after a week of trying to solve this problem intelligently, I have resorted to bashing it in with a hammer. That was a horrible idea. Because now, my door is broken, I'm locked in my room with absolutely no conceivable way to get out, and my mother isn't coming home until monday."
- ―Billy Arrowsmith on a Friday[src]
Over the past week Sir William had a bit of trouble with rebellious doorknobs, after several fruitless attempts to pacify the doorknob separatists with peaceful negotiating, one plucky doorknob succeeded to lock Sir William in his bedroom. At first Sir William was desperate but not for long. He turned to his trusty hammer of justice and beat the rebellious doorknob into submission. While his attack spree seemed unsuccessful at first, help was not far away since moments after the heated battle Sir William's uncle opened the door from the other side thus freeing Sir William.
- "No doorknob makes Billy Arrowsmith his bitch!"
- ―Sir William