Bert
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- "Rub-a-dub-dub! In a tub! I love my penis!"
- ―Bert, singing
Bert was a member of Sesame Street, and Darth Elmo's right-hand puppet. He became the leader of Sesame Street following Elmo's suicide. He was the brother of Ernie, and the mother-in-law of Jolee Bindo. Upon seeing the video footage that had led to the suicide of his brother Bert vowed (while chugging a six pack) to kill Darth Bob. But he failed because Darth Bob killed the intoxicated Puppet.
[edit] Romances
It has been rumored that he once had a homosexual affair with his own brother, Ernie. This is supported by the fact that images have been found showing parts of the incident. The images depicted Bert's pants around his legs and [CENSORED BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO WRONG]. Other images have since turned up.
