Black lightsaber

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Non-conformist emo Jedi show off their identical black lightsabers

"You can have my quadruple-bladed black lightsaber…when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"
―Darth Cold-Dead-Hands

Black lightsabers were lightsabers with black blades. These were designed by emo Jedi Padawans who thought that since black was cool, that it would make for a cool-looking blade. These Padawans had never seen a black light before, and failed basic elementary science classes, as everyone knows that black does not emit light.

The black lightsabers, and similar paraphernalia such as torn, non-standard robes, were popular with the sub-adult segment of the Jedi Order. They claimed that black crystals produced the black light, despite the fact that such a thing was not only impossible, as black absorbs light, but also a very stupid concept in itself. The black lightsaber fad quickly died down as the educated Jedi Knights taught their elementary school dropouts basic physics.

The Sith Underlord Darth Cold-Dead-Hands tinkered with the concept at one point in his career.

Behind the scenesEdit

Unfortunately, there were still black lightsabers lost within the myriad of races and fandoms, thus becoming a reminder of just how stupid emo people can be when not properly educated and left to their own devices.


  • None, because the concept goes against basic physics (duh!)
This article is called Black lightsaber. Black lightsaber has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Black lightsaber can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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