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Boonta Eve

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'Twas the Eve before Boonta, when all thro' the sand
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Jawa
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Palpatine soon would be there;
And Ani was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of A Choked Bitch danced in his head;
And Shmi in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long summer's nap;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash,
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen sand,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature podracer, and two tiny turbines,
With a little old driver, so rich and full of dough,
I knew in a moment it must be Watto.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Sebulba!, now, Mawhonic! now, Dud Bolt and Ratts Tyrell!
"On, Wan Sandage! on, Clegg Holdfast! on, Annie and Ody Mandrell;
"To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with Sand People, in the mountains to the sky;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the Sleigh full of holes - that the Sand People blew:
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof—
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Greedo came with a bound:
He was dressed all in leather, and came out in a burst,
And walked up towards me ready to shoot first;
A bundle of Toys was flung on his back,
So I used the Force to break his green neck:
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
Such beautiful torture was not seen since the Krath,
And he blew his last breath as I gave him my wrath;
He had a broad face, and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Was the last thing he did and then he was dead;
He spoke not a word, and fell straight to the floor,
I fill'd all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And sticking my finger up in nose,
And giving a Force push, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
Happy Life Day to all, and to all a good night.
--Boonta Eve In a vision to Anakin Skywalker

AnywayEdit

The day before Boonta. This is why it is called Boonta Eve. Similar to it was Life Day Eve.

Boonta Eve came into being when Boonta was declared a holiday. Since Boonta was now a holiday, it had to have an Eve to proceed it. Otherwise it just wouldn't be a holiday. Boonta Eve had little reason to exist other than as an excuse to get drunk, commit a hit-and-run in a pod-racer before getting in trouble with the law. Naturally Sesame Street loved helping people get into the holiday spirit.

Jabba the Hutt was notable for getting caught in a hit-and-run on Boonta Eve when he was a little Huttling. The drunken young Hutt accidentally ran over That Stormtrooper That Got Shot Off The Extension Ramp On The First Death Star In Episode IV's feet. Naturally the poor guy had to get an artificial foot after his real one was crushed by the Hutt's massive weight. This did not please the Stormtrooper, so he did what any evil fellow would do: ask Lord Vader to teach the Hutt a Lesson. Vader never received the message because the Stormtrooper got shot off the extension ramp on the first Death Star in Episode IV, thus making communication impossible.

TriviaEdit

Darth Darth Binks annually celebrated Boonta by destroying a planet.

'nuff said.

Stuff that happened on Boonta EveEdit



RicOlieRight
This article is called Boonta Eve. Boonta Eve has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Boonta Eve can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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