This article is called Callista Ming. Callista Ming has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Callista Ming can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Callista Ming.
Callista Masana: "I love you, Luke. I would do anything to be with you. I would go to the dark side and back, and to the end of the galaxy."
Anakin Skywalker: "That's all fine and good, Callista, but GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY CROTCH!"
— Callista Masana and Anakin Skywalker

Callista Ming was a hippie Jedi. Unlike the regular Jedi, she had a boyfriend. Together they went to the Eye of Palpatine and her boyfriend died trying to stop it, and she possessed its computer. Luke Skywalker came by 30 years later and fell in love with her. She took over his student's body so they could be together. Then she dumped him because she could only use the Dark Side of the Force.

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