An Earthling proves that yes, Canderous Ordo is your speeder bike.


Also: Darth Animal is your lowrider.

Canderous Ordo is your Speeder Bike was the name given to the election campaigns of Canderous Ordo when he ran for Mandalore.

After Canderous found himself a spin doctor on #Wookieepedia called StarNinja99, they posted subliminal messages all over the HoloNet. This is a master list of all messages that were sent:

  • Canderous Ordo mentioned to Revan how cool you are.
  • Canderous Ordo keeps a holo of you in his armor.
  • Canderous Ordo paid the parking ticket on your Basilisk War Droid.
  • Canderous Ordo laughed at your joke..........and shot everybody who did not.
  • Canderous Ordo rescued you from giving you a warrior's death.
  • Canderous Ordo sent you the heads of all the foes he had defeated in his life as a birthday present.......the trucks came rolling in three weeks later
  • Canderous Ordo warmed up your blaster for murdering 98 sentients.
  • Canderous Ordo shined your armor......with the blood of his enemies.
  • Canderous Ordo gave you a new helmet for your birthday, with the former owner's head still in it.
  • Canderous Ordo dedicated a kill to you.
  • Canderous Ordo told you "Suck it up, you worthless di'kut" when you were frightened.
  • Canderous Ordo made you a deathbed, it's right behind you.
  • Canderous Ordo gave you a rabid, bloodthirsty rancor for Life-Day..
  • Canderous Ordo killed your wife after she laughed at your erection problems.
  • Canderous Ordo wanted to buy you some ice-cream, so he conquered Hoth in your honor.
  • Canderous Ordo folded you an origami Ithorian......made from a real Ithorian.
  • Canderous Odro bookmarked your website........with a Vibro-Shiv.
  • Canderous Ordo visits your grandmother on Sundays."
  • Canderous Ordo played catch with you today........using a thermal detonator.
  • Canderous Ordo helped you hide the evidence from Jolee's murder
  • Canderous Ordo had a Woman to Woman talk with Mission Vao when she had her first menstrual period.
  • Canderous Ordo gave Kreia a nasty Vibroblade scar when she started lecturing you about killing that Ewok
This article is called Canderous Ordo is your Speeder Bike. Canderous Ordo is your Speeder Bike has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Canderous Ordo is your Speeder Bike can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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