- "Show me ya moves!"
- ―Captain Falcone
Hello! Captain Falcone is manly space racerman and bounty hunter from Port Town! Captain Falcone is known for the signature move of him, the FALCONE... PAWNCH!!!!!, which gives him strength to equal Kyle Katarn and cause an explosion of the galaxy! Captain Falcone was also one of the strongest and fastest individuals in the galaxy even though he wasn't Force-sensitive, giving him strength and speed to fight many of the Jedi and Sith on equal footing - no, lopsided in the favor of Captain Falcone! YESZ!
Captain Falcone was a member of The Super Smash Brotherhood, renowned for his super-manliness, which made him a very valuable member! HOOOOOWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! He was one of the bounty hunter who, because he fights for great American justice, did not work for Darth Vader and instead fought with the Brotherhood to prevent Vader from destroying planets. However, Vader was also the uncle of him, because his father was Darth Ganondorf, Vader's cousin from Hyrule and the arch-enemy of Link. This gave him an enemy family relationship, much like Luke Skywalker, but not nearly as strong! When questioned about what he knew about Captain Falcone, Vader answered: "I want as little to do with that brightly colored buffoon as possible. Leave my cousin to deal with him." TOOOOOWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Aside from the bountyhunting work, Captain Falcone was also a renowned podracer, with his vehicle, the BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE FALCONE, being the fastest machine on the circuit! YESZ! Captain Falcone also has the personal space-craft, the Falcone Flyer; he once attempted to use the prize money of him to buy the Millenium Falcone from Han Solo to secure the copyright on the name "Falcone", until he realized that the manly powers of him would be too much for the ship to handle. He therefore let Han be, with much worship, and began dating Samus the sexy MANDALORIAN bounty hunterwoman rival of him. YESZ!
It is believed that Captain Falcone is related to Kyle Katarn Himself, as the powers of him are very similar, but this is proven not-true because he had no Force-sensitive. NAWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Captain Falcone finally came to his death when he used the FALCONE... PAWNCH!!!!! to kill the evil crime-lord Black Shadow, agent of the Galactic Empire who was planning to overthrow it as his own, as the two exploded in a reactor with the explosion to be seen from the galaxy! YESZ!