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Carth Onasi

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This article is about The whining wimp. You may be looking for the fangirl favorite Carth.
Carth
Carth Onasi
Biographical information
Homeworld

Telos IV

Born

3,994 BBY, Unfortunately

Died

One can only hope

Physical description
Species

Human overused brat

Gender

Male (In question?)

Height

Unknown

Hair color

Dark brown

Eye color

Blood red from all the crying

Cybernetics

No

Personal shit
Chronological and political information
Era(s)

Old Republic era

Affiliation
Known masters

Revan

"Look, I…*sniff*…I just don't feel like talking about it right now, okay? Is that so wrong?…Look, just shut up! What about MY needs?"
―Carth Onasi

Carth Onasi was born on Telos IV, but he was betrayed by everyone he knew because he was a crying wimp.

Early lifeEdit

During his childhood he would often be bullied by the other children who punched him and stole his candy. Having enough of this torment, his parents enlisted him in a military Academy where they would make a fine young lady out of him.

Life in the academyEdit

His period in the academy was even more tormenting since none of the other students liked him, his greatest nemesis would be Frederick "Wedge" Antilles who got his nickname on account of "wedging" poor Carth at least 23 times a day.

Life as a star pilotEdit

During some war his wife betrayed him by having Relations with Darth Malak, she would even go so far as having Malak give special attention to his home world and making Carth believe she was dead.

Jolly adventures with Darth RevanEdit

Revan: "Hey, Carth, I'm going to a planet and I need you to prepare the ship for takeoff."
Carth: "Can I come too? It's been so long since I've had anything to do. Please? PLEASE???"
Revan: "No, Carth, you see, you're the most useless character in the game. Even What's his face was more interesting that you, and all he talked about was my inventory."
— Revan, explaining to Carth that he's not good at anything

At some time he met an amnesiac Revan and a whole bunch of other gangsters, they would have many adventures. However, Revan was never amnesiac, it had all been on giant scam initiated by the Republic and Sith to betray Carth one more time.

At some space factory this plot would be revealed and broadcasted all over the Galaxy, everyone laughed at Carth and he cried like the whiny bitch that he was.

Later lifeEdit

He died from a combination of diabetes, poor pazaak skills and gentle sobbing.

WeaponsEdit

Carth carried a special blaster that could be upgraded called "the Onasi Blaster"; we can only hope he used it to shoot himself.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Carth Onasi. Carth Onasi has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Carth Onasi can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
WookieepediaLogoBouncing
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Carth Onasi.

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