This article is called Chad Vader. Chad Vader has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Chad Vader can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager.

Chad Vader wished he was as good as his less crispy brother Darth Vader. He drove his bicycle into a volcano and borrowed one of his brother's suits. Later he constructed the Laser Checkout System, which by the way is FULLY OPERATIONAL, at Darth Mart. He sometimes daydreamed about relations with Sylvana Zen, that redheaded bombshell that works in Lane 3. Unfortunately for him, Sylvana was his brother's girlfriend and Chad would probably get Force choked if he ever even looked at her funny. Which he did. Many, many times.

He released a B-side called "Chocolate Rain". Don't listen to it though.