Chocolate Rain (As Performed by the Talents of Chad Vader)

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Chad Vader, brother of the more famous planet-destroying Darth Vader, makes history with his new remix hit single, "Chocolate Rain." This song was the key to launching his now-sprawling music career. Ever heard a "Justin Timberlake" song? That's really Chad; he's in control of all music powah!!!!

"Chocolate Rain," performed by the talents of Chad Vader was a song performed by the talents of Chad Vader; DUH!

The horrible lyrics of this song caused everyone to listen to it, or else they would have had their, well, you know... This allowed it to become #1 on the charts for 500,000 years, gaining "popularity" all this time until it became so old they had to discontinue it on account of the "fairness" policy.

Here are the lyrics to this "song". If you want to edit them out so that the horribleness does not kill you, please feel free to do so. Seriously, DO IT NOW!!!!!!


Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I edited you, someone do the same

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what's that smell, it smells like you and lame

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, feel the powah of my choking insane

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the fuck's the next line in this dang

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I'm singing in the chocolate rain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this song pisses me off like the original one and

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, fail me one more time and feel the rage

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I'm altering the deal, pray I don't do it again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel my magic powah hurricane

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, death just came and rang the doorbell again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel the lameness of this lamey lame

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I am your father!

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this song cracks me up like novacaine

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, is it even a wonder I'm high on cocaine

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I feel weak, want to get up again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, hands are tired from playing this verse again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, never mind me, go back, and do your thing

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, ventilator's giving me some pain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, do you want to feel my wrath again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yo momma's as fat as Jabba, she's got problems man

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, she fell into a volcano, with no more dang

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, had to get her out with a 50-foot crane

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, uh, chocolate rain

♫ ♫

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, yeah, yeah, hit the road you son of a bitch-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel the heat, feel it again, again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, join me, rule the galaxy with me and ordain

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, damnit song, just end already fuck it-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the hell is chocolate rain anyway

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, who knows why TFU is a game

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, who commissioned you to fly this thing

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, damnit Luke, you did it again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Internet crazes suck as you have seen

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, New Year's Day, it's time to celebrate

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, brother landed Padmé, damn you dang

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, let's hope this is the end, ha, faked you out again

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, feel the effect of my super brain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, destroy your planet I will do again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, who would ever want to be your date

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, all this breathing makes me hate to say

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, restraining orders have no effect, you dang

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, underestimate the Force and I will crush your windpipe hey

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, crappy article but it causes pain so

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, do you want to hear it again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, PWNG3UINOP89009273954847503580ING is too much fun so be more tame

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, James Earl Jones couldn't do better, hey

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, muy bombad powah of the Sithies, yay

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the heck, I have to do it again

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, you don't know how hard it is to think verses off the top of your head-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, if this is a hit, I had a bet with Oprah that she'd, well, you know-ain...

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, how much more lame can I get anyway

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, the experts say obsession is okay

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, take it from a Dark Lord of the Sith, okay

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, now I say, isn't that the dumbest name

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, who cares if I clog the whole drain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, is a fake name

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I always wondered what happened to my mother when I left her with them

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, mass hysteria takes over again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, pausing's giving me a headache

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, conceived by Darth Plagueis, disturbing, eh

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, whoever wants me, dial 988

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I always thought Harrison Ford was double dealing-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, can't think of anything, hang on a second-ain

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, Snakes on a Plane, Samuel Jackson, what more can I say

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, holiday specials are for hippies and

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, damnit, don't you ever, ever end

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, G4TV takes the fun out of all video games

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Karen Traviss *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* Spongebob Squarepants-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, repeating verses sucks, who does that anyway

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, if you hate this song, I feel your pain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I used to love chocolate; now, well, you know...

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Darth Elmo's nothing compared to the death-inducingness of this dang

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, doesn't anybody feel the pain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, microphone is starting to irritate

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this entire article's going down the drain

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, cliche, cliche, cliche, more cliche

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Fandalorians beware the rain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, step outside, on second thought, play video games

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I hate this song and it hates everyday

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Supergeeky1, save the article, yay

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I'm allergic to the Jedi, hooray

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, geeks of all ages come read this painful-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, strike me down, claim your refund today

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Admiral, you came too close to the system again

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, that baby's as ugly as yo momma, lame

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, error 412, damnit work again you fax machine-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what is thy bidding thy stupid dazed

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, not afraid, you will be, you will be-ain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I searched my feelings--all of them

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yes it is awesome; oh boy, clean that place

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I spy on everybody everyday

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, there's something alive in here, feeling pretty strange

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, RACCOON, what the fuck is it today

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, guy on meat I suggest you walk away

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Clint hates you, no shit, ghost of refrain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yeah sure, she saved a lot, now I'm going to walk away

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, you're doomed, doomed, doomed, oh, this is bullshit again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, ran out of Wikiquotes to use, oh dang

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, day shift manager job sucks anyway

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, all fandom is crappy in the rain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, did I mention this song's lame with a pain

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I must eat your brain

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, running out of stuff to sing about-ain

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, Lionel stop asking the speed of light question again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, hopefully it's the end, hah, psyched again

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel free to edit this to make it more lame

Chocolate rain, *breathes*, chocolate rain, *pauses*, chocolate raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, oh God please save me from ...

Chocolate rain, *pauses*, the final verse is up next, can't stand the pain

Feeling pain,♫ *breathes*,aw forget this crap...

After the Initial SongEdit

At this point in the song, Chad fell to the ground, unconscious.

Instead of having a negative effect on people because of its longevity and lameness, the song instead had a positive effect; there are too many fanboys in this world anymore. So whenever you hear a song on the radio, thank Chad Vader for making Americans love music again. And thank him for American Idol; wait, no not really. But anyway, just get out of here. That is, unless you want to read another fifteen pages of verses and listen to the better-than-James-Earl-Jones'-Darth-Vader-voice of that guy who makes Chad's voice again; are names really important anyway?

It was later discovered that this song was actually the greatest superweapon evah in the galaxy's history; even more powerful than the Death Star (even though most things were). Fear of another song from Chad took hold of every citizen of the galaxy, forcing them listen to this one or else, explaining why they listened to the song in the first place.

Behind the Scenes and TriviaEdit

Chad Vader IS Steve Perry!

Henry Fonda provided the voice of Chad, while John Wayne wore the suit in an ill-carried-out parody of the song. When the real Chad Vader (Perry!) found out about this, he used his original "Chocolate Rain" song to completely wipe them out...both of them. And you wonder why there's no more Westerns!

Chad spelled backwards is Dahc; this is possibly a clue to the location of Darth Krayt's mother's third cousin's fifty-times-removed frying pan! How exciting!

George Lucas named the song, and Chad Vader, after his cousin's cat. DUH!

Chad means Iuopiertyzonia in Juipoaoiaerioaaeraggahirejtiogkjccajfdoaurjf.

This article is a parody of a parody of a song. Psyche!

Chad Vader (Perry!) took a rap course in college; no wonder he's so good!

Finally, no Gungans were hurt in the making of this song. Haha, GOTCHA!!!!!!!

And Now, A Word From Our SponsorsEdit

We've rambled enough now, it's time for you to make a difference; go out and inform the world that this song sucks big time. Remember: unless you are a cool Sith Lord, saving a life is the greatest charity you can ever give.

The previous message is brought to you by the hippie Jedi foundation, for all aspiring hippie Jedis out there and for everyone else who's not Sith (or who is an extremly bad Sith) and sucks as bad as us; this includes all you losers, fanboys, Fandalorians, MANDALORIANS, Anonymous Stormtroopers, Cult of the Power Droids enthusiasts, Michael Jackson, Samuel Jackson (this does not go for his counterpart, however), C-3PO, Wookiees, KHAAAN!, HAAAN!, Jabba the Hutt, Jabba Desilijic Tiure, the SA (yep, he's a pansy as well; it's just still a secret), all stormtroopers in general, the Stormtrooper Effect, the Prune of Powah!!!!, the Peach of Powah!!!, meesa, hu elsa?, the guds, TARPAAAAAAALS!, friends, our most beloved friends here on Darthipedia, G*nk in an obese way, love, that thing I just stepped on, that thing I found stuck to a podracer, the bad-fashion queen who can't take a joke (or a choke) at all, the result of all this imagination George thought he had, speaking of the devil, the man himself, another well-hated person of doom, people who feel love in the air at the most inconvenient moments, non-death, life, that thing we thought we would never have to listen to again after we first saw ROTJ, that thing I'd rather not talk about because it's too violent for young minds such as yourselves, the person who will die (we all know it), the droid formerly known as Goldenrod (formerly known as Prince), the lizards who dare to disgrace Kyle's name, philosophy, knowledge, laws, the argumentative political body that nobody really cares about, the Galactic Republic, Darth Obvious, Darth Noob, those deadly teddy bears (size matters not; hah, gotcha!), that thing we like to spoof all the time, that thing that was a long time ago and in a galaxy far far away--erm, damnit!, and even <insert name here>. Yeah, that's right, you know it all applies to you.

This article is called Chocolate Rain (As Performed by the Talents of Chad Vader). Chocolate Rain (As Performed by the Talents of Chad Vader) has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Chocolate Rain (As Performed by the Talents of Chad Vader) can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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