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Christmas

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"Christmas is absolutely amazing times infinity!"
Janna0, one of our IRC bots[src]
PalpyClaus

The guy in the red costume

Christmas..... Hmmmm..... it's..... ehhhh... it's a holiday of some sort, I think.... Anyway, most Sith hate Christmas, so after they started to rule the galaxy, it was forbidden. But the Jedi still celebrate it every year. If you celebrate it too you'll know what it's all about, some guy in a red costume will visit your home and give you a few presents, you open them and pretend to like them. After the guy leaves you'll forget about him for another year and then you suddenly remember it's almost Christmas again and it all happens again, the only difference is that you get different presents than last year (at least, that's what you hope for).

The many faces of the guy in the red costumeEdit

The guy in the red costume seems to have many different faces, we do not yet know how this is possible, but we are investigating it. These are the different faces we've been able to find so far.
NOTE: Add new ones if you find them.

Palpy faceEdit

We've already showed you one of the better known faces, the Palpy face. This one looks a lot like Palpatine, who is a Sith Lord, which makes it a bit strange. We've heard many rumors that this is the "real" guy in the red costume, it is said that Palpatine invented Christmas because no one would buy his Christmas stuff. But it didn't work, even after he had invented Christmas there was no one stupid enough to buy his stuff. Palpatine then decided to buy a red costume and start giving the Christmas stuff away. The weird part is that he could also have stopped buying all the Christmas stuff, it is said the he secretly enjoyed making people happy and giving them cool things. This is also why he probably kept his real identity hidden, if the other Sith ever found out they would make fun of him.

Green Frog Face (Yoda?)Edit

Yodaclause

One of the other guys in the red costume, possibly Yoda.

This guy in a red costume might be Jedi Grand Master Yoda The Frog, we are not sure if it's him, but he does look a lot like him. A long time ago (when Yoda was still a small frog) The Guy in the Red Costume never visited the Jedi, this could be because he (most likely Palpy) didn't like the Jedi. It is possible that Yoda started to pretend he was The Guy in the Red Costume when he was older because he didn't want the young Jedi to suffer like he had suffered when he was younger. Not being visited by The Guy in the Red Costume can be a very traumatic event...... But we were never able to confirm all of this.

Santa ClawEdit

Santa Claw was a rampant Madclaw! Wookiee who traveled the galaxy raping and brutally murdering anyone who got in his way. He also took the belongings of all his victims with him in his big ship. Once a year, at Christmas, he returned to his homeworld Kashyyyk to celebrate Christmas with his family. Because his ship was always filled with all the things he stole from his victims at that time, he put a red "Santa hat" on his head and brought gifts to all the Wookiees. With his ship empty again, he could continue raping and brutally murdering people for another year and the Wookiees were very happy with all the gifts he had brought them. He also destroyed a few planets at new year, just because he liked fireworks and explosions.

Christmas in other culturesEdit

Ewoks also celebrated Christmas.....kinda. Once upon a very long time ago the Ewoks were visited by HK-47, he inspired the Ewoks to become the most savage race in the galaxy. He taught them many ways on how to kill Jedi, and this resulted in the tradition to sacrifice Jedi at every festive celebration in Ewok society. When Christmas time came around many Ewok hunters returned home with captured Jedi and they would all have a big barbeque, he Jedi Council did not intervene in this event since Jedi would be cremated upon death anyway, but the truth is the Jedi were extremely scared to confront the savage Ewoks so they didn't. A side effect of all this was every time a droid found himself on Endor the Ewoks would see him as a prophet of HK-47, the Ewok santa.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Christmas. Christmas has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Christmas can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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