Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO

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The extended version of the conversation between Han Solo and C-3PO while fleeing the Galactic Empire into the Hoth asteroid field.

What are you doing? You're not actually going into an asteroid field?

They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?

You don't have to do this to impress me.

Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one.
Never tell me the odds! Okay, here we go.

Also, technically, some of the celestial bodies in this area are not classified as asteroids by newly accepted definitions of planets, dwarf planets, and plutoids.

What's a plutoid?

A plutoid is a celestial body that orbits beyond the semimajor axis of the outermost planet of a star system...

Semimajor wuh?

...provided, of course, it has sufficient mass for its gravity to overcome structural forces so that it assumes a near round shape, i.e., hydrostatic equilibrium, and also provided it is not itself a satellite of another body.


And technically, sir, the Hoth asteroid belt lies at the farthest orbit of the system, meaning all of the nearby objects meeting the gravitational requirement would necessarily fit the definition of a plutoid.

Shut up. It's an asteroid.
But, sir...

We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer.

I'm going in closer to one of the big ones.

Ah, yes, indeed, sir. Size would be a factor in the classification of minor planetary bodies. However, there are two schools of thought on whether an object is a plutoid or merely a dwarf planet.

Look, we're in an asteroid field, and that's what these are. Asteroids. There. That one looks good.

Actually, sir, a planet or plutoid by the accepted modern definition is an object that, A, has sufficient mass to reach hydrostatic equilibrium...
Oh, good grief.

...and, B, has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. And clearly, none of these objects, large as they may be, meet that definition.

Look, I know what an asteroid looks like, and I'm looking at one right now. That big one right there.

Ah, I see. That is in fact the largest body in the asteroid field. I calculate it contains roughly 28% of the field's total mass. Its spherical shape indicates its relatively high gravity.
Shut up.

Some star maps actually classify it as a planet in its own right, but as I said, since it exists as part of a large asteroid field, the term "dwarf planet" would be more apropos.

Shut up, shut up...
Although, if one does not accept the requirement that a planetary body must clear its orbit, then it would meet the definition of both a dwarf planet and a plutoid.

Threepio, seriously...
And in many cases, stellar cartographers choose to simplify their star charts and list all such bodies as planets.

Chewie, if he says one more thing, rip his arms off.
Also, sir, you may be interested to know these asteroids are inhabited by giant wo—<ZAP!> <RIP!> <BZZZZT!>

This article is called Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO. Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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