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Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO

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The extended version of the conversation between Han Solo and C-3PO while fleeing the Galactic Empire into the Hoth asteroid field.

FalconAsticon
What are you doing? You're not actually going into an asteroid field?



C3POHanLeiaicon
They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?



C3POHanLeiaicon2
You don't have to do this to impress me.



C3POHanicon
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one.
Never tell me the odds! Okay, here we go.



C3POicon
Also, technically, some of the celestial bodies in this area are not classified as asteroids by newly accepted definitions of planets, dwarf planets, and plutoids.



Han1icon
What's a plutoid?



C3POicon
A plutoid is a celestial body that orbits beyond the semimajor axis of the outermost planet of a star system...



Han1icon
Semimajor wuh?



C3POicon
...provided, of course, it has sufficient mass for its gravity to overcome structural forces so that it assumes a near round shape, i.e., hydrostatic equilibrium, and also provided it is not itself a satellite of another body.



Han1icon
Hydro-whatta-who-brium?



C3POicon
And technically, sir, the Hoth asteroid belt lies at the farthest orbit of the system, meaning all of the nearby objects meeting the gravitational requirement would necessarily fit the definition of a plutoid.



C3POHanicon
Shut up. It's an asteroid.
But, sir...



C3POLeiaicon
We're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer.
Pulverized?



FalconAsticon2
I'm going in closer to one of the big ones.



C3POicon
Ah, yes, indeed, sir. Size would be a factor in the classification of minor planetary bodies. However, there are two schools of thought on whether an object is a plutoid or merely a dwarf planet.



Han1icon
Look, we're in an asteroid field, and that's what these are. Asteroids. There. That one looks good.



C3POHanicon
Actually, sir, a planet or plutoid by the accepted modern definition is an object that, A, has sufficient mass to reach hydrostatic equilibrium...
Oh, good grief.



C3POicon
...and, B, has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. And clearly, none of these objects, large as they may be, meet that definition.



Han1icon
Look, I know what an asteroid looks like, and I'm looking at one right now. That big one right there.



C3POLeiaicon
Ah, I see. That is in fact the largest body in the asteroid field. I calculate it contains roughly 28% of the field's total mass. Its spherical shape indicates its relatively high gravity.
Shut up.



FalconBigAsticon
Some star maps actually classify it as a planet in its own right, but as I said, since it exists as part of a large asteroid field, the term "dwarf planet" would be more apropos.



C3POHanicon
Shut up, shut up...
Although, if one does not accept the requirement that a planetary body must clear its orbit, then it would meet the definition of both a dwarf planet and a plutoid.



C3POLeiaicon
Threepio, seriously...
And in many cases, stellar cartographers choose to simplify their star charts and list all such bodies as planets.



FalconBigAsticon2
Chewie, if he says one more thing, rip his arms off.
Also, sir, you may be interested to know these asteroids are inhabited by giant wo—<ZAP!> <RIP!> <BZZZZT!>


RicOlieRight
This article is called Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO. Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Conversation of Han Solo and C-3PO can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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