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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Corpsey.
"He died as he lived.... dead."
―Eulogy given at Corpsey's funeral

Corpsey was a tragic Ewok from Endor who was one of the few to die at the hands of stormtroopers during the Battle of Endor. At the time, Corpsey was three days from retirement. He had a loving wife and family and was planning to settle down on his wooden houseboat.

Before his death, Corpsey experienced many episodes in which he was prematurely declared dead, including being declared a stillbirth, declared dead from fever, declared dead from a bee sting, missing and presumed dead on a hiking trip, declared dead from food poisoning, declared dead in a freak explosion, mistakenly reported murdered by Duloks (prompting a violent uprising among fellow Ewoks that included savage ethnic cleansing and genocide), declared murdered in prison, and declared dead of colon cancer.

After his death, Corpsey was loaded onto a death cart along with the hundreds of other Ewok casualties. He reportedly called out that he was "not dead" and that he felt fine and wanted to "go for a walk," but was ignored and buried. Generations later, archaeologists exhumed Corpsey, finding the inside of his coffin gouged with fingernail marks.

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