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Corran Horn

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This article is about the womanizing Jedi. You may be looking for Wikia's community manager Danny Horn although we heavily doubt that.
Corran-horn lg
Corran "I've got a Raging" Horn
Biographical information
Homeworld

Corellia

Born

18 BBY

Died

not just yet

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Height

1.67 meters

Hair color

Brown

Eye color

I'm not gay

Personal shit
Butt buddies
Asshole enemies
Weapon

Long and green

Chronological and political information
Era(s)
  • Rise of the Empire era
  • Rebellion era
  • New Republic era
  • New Jedi Order era
  • Legacy era
Affiliation
Known masters

Luke Skywalker

RicOlieRight
This article is called Corran Horn. Corran Horn has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Corran Horn can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
WookieepediaLogoBouncing
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Corran Horn.
"I'm the balls. I rock. And I look good. Hey, everyone, come and see how good I look! Oh, by the way, there's been a crime. I know who done it. But I'm not going to tell you because I think I'm gonna be a Jedi now. I'll totally own at that, too. Koo-loozi."
―Corran Horn, ace detective

Corran "I've Got A Raging" Horn. If you ever see an ego the size of a standard planetary system coming your way, it's a good bet this guy's on the other end, probably with a lightsaber and some kind of Corran-centric witticism.

He was a kick-ass detective in CorSec until he got bored of it, then became a kick-ass fighter ace with Rogue Squadron. Later decided to give the New Jedi Order a go, inserting himself neatly into any given situation that didn't actually require his presence, just to show off a bit. He married Mirax Terrik and continued to kick ass as a detective/pilot/Jedi combo/remix. He was the best Jedi in the history of the universe Except he wasn't a kickass Jedi, really. He challenged a Yuuzhan Vong to a sword duel one time – if he won, the Yuuzhan Vong wouldn't destroy his planet – and he ended up winning a glorious victory getting skewered like an insect in a display case. (His planet, needless to say, was destroyed). Unfortunately for all of us, Luke dipped him in some bacta and he survived to become even more annoying. The only time he was ever given any actual responsibility—leading the Jedi Order in Luke Skywalker's absence during the Dark Nest crisis—he mucked it up a bit. He didn't care, because he was given a funky office. He had a big-ass lightsaber to match his ego; it was three meters (10 feet) long. Needless to say, he injured himself quite a few times practicing with it. Finally after Saba Sebatyne PWN3D him in a "training exercise," Wormie ordered him to make a new lightsaber or leave the Jedi Order. He chose the latter, shouting, "I'm too good for all you bozos anyway!" After that, he mostly hung around in bars and occasionally deigned to shoot down massive numbers of TIE fighters.

He had a habit of ending conversations with cheesy phrases that would make everyone in the room do an exasperated facepalm.

And his son was even worse. He managed to accidentally kill another Jedi on an important mission (if you think I'm bullshitting you, read Legacy of the Force: Fury). Later he went crazy and had to be frozen in carbonite. His distraught father started going to bars even more after that.

AppearancesEdit

  • Attack of the Corran Horn
  • Revenge of the Corran Horn
  • The Corran Horn Strikes Back
  • Return of the Corran Horn
  • I, Corran Horn (Am Awesome)
  • The Corran Horn Circle Jerk (paperback)
  • Why I married Mirax.

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