Crattis Yurkal

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Crattis yurkal
Crattis Yurkal
Biographical information


Physical description




Chronological and political information

Old Republic era


Aratech Corporation

This article is called Crattis Yurkal. Crattis Yurkal has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Crattis Yurkal can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Crattis Yurkal.
"Don't get me started on Czerka! They work with the Sith to commit genocide and rape and torture and jaywalking and slavery and traffic accidents and food poisoning and... and... and then a couple of their corpse-molesting mercenaries get killed and mutilated, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for them? Well, screw them! Screw Czerka! Screw the fascist Republic that lets them carry on business! I want them all dead! I want their families dead! I want their corporate headquarters burned to the ground! Hey, hey, where are you going? Come back! Don't you want to hear about the no-bid contracts those bastards at Czerka are getting?"
―Crattis Yurkal, chasing away another customer

Crattis Yurkal was a crazy Twi'lek male merchant who despised Czerka Corporation and who seriously would not shut up about it for 30 seconds. Every topic of conversation eventually led to how much he despised the corporation. Crattis used his HoloNet connection to harass people on Czerka's customer service message boards. He was banned several times, but managed to open new accounts under pseudonyms.

He had a business on Dantooine which was, not surprisingly, stocked with the finest in Aratech Corporation gear and merchandise. The Twi'lek annoyed Darth Revan incessantly...the former Dark Lord was going through a pacifist phase at the time and didn't kill him right away. Later, after Revan recovered from his memory loss, he returned to Dantooine to kill Crattis—and a few other annoying, low-level characters—only to discover that the Sith had already razed the planet.


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