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Dan Eardornn

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Dan Eardornn
Dan in his Halloween costume.
Dan Eardornn
Dan Earwax
Biographical information
Born

When you put two people in the same room together, and they're sucky slavers...

Died

The day the cat who scratched him bit his throat out

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Hair color

Black

Eye color

Weird

Chronological and political information
Affiliation
"The man's got the heart of a droid and the mind of a Muun. Wait, what the hell does that mean?!"
―Some guy
"You're my bitch now."
―One of Dan's many escaped slaves attacking him
"If life were a game, I lost a long time ago."
―Eardornn, on himself

Dan Eardornn, often known as Dan Earwax, was the suckiest slaver in the galaxy. When he caught slaves, they usually escaped within five minutes, then attacked him. Some even raped him.

BiographyEdit

Early LifeEdit

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
―Dan, crying

Dan's life was a total tragedy, like something you'd see on Days of Our Lives. He was constantly raped by gypsies, and he had to live on the streets when his mom went to bars. He ended up becoming a gangbanger and often committed crimes for his fellow gangstas. Dan and his buddies killed some Jedi, which pissed off even more Jedi. Dan ended up going into hiding for awhile, but when the Jedi caught up to him, they had a cat scratch his face.

Oh Noes Black SunEdit

Dan spent some some time with the Black Sun, a retarded company led by a Clawdite-thingy with a small wiener. They began to battle a rival company called Bethalkhaskjnckjfdigfpifg Inc., led by a fat slut Hutt.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Dan Eardornn. Dan Eardornn has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Dan Eardornn can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
SWFanonFlag
Had too much humor? Who are you kidding? You can never get enough of it! Go check out the Star Wars Fanon Wiki's other article on Dan Eardornn where you will find the real definition of Star Wars humor.

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