Darth Barney

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"I hate you, you hate me, we're all out to castrate me, and a big fat ass is in my face, oh, she'll diiiee..."

―Darth Barney

Darth Barney AKA "The Second Most Evil Thing In Eternity" (Darth Evil being the most evil DUH)- wait? What? C'mon! I mean, what are we? Five year olds? First it was Darth Elmo, then Big Bird, and now Barney? Jesus Christ people. Look lets stop the article right now. Make it a stub for all I care. Maybe we can get one of those crazies we call Admins to Delete this piece of bantha poodoo. Here, If you really want a story I'll tell you Barney's life's story in five words. He had no life. He was the Michael Jackson of Dinosaurs (the white version). Okay that was eleven words, but it doesn't matter. Go home. Oh wait...you're already at home jacking off to pictures of Miley Cyrus... Okay, how about you go read something useful like this or Arkhampedia.

[Edit] Early Life (8 BBY- 0 BBY)

Darth Barney was a lowlife back then. In school he was made fun of because he played with preschoolers in 3rd grade- Okay, okay we get it. He was a loser. Now please, I beg of you, just leave. Go outside, play a sport, find a hooker, do something besides read this article. Its a disgrace to this wiki... Even Wookiepedia wouldn't except the article and they're the funny ones. He just had a thing for little kids- Bad other personality. BAD! Finally, Barney had it with the kids in school. Seeing Barney's positive effect on kids, the Jedi Hippies took the dejected Purple freak in. He worked in the younglings area but was dismissed when it was found that his intentions were not all that compliant with the Jedi code. Angered, he joined the Sith. But he was too weak, and so he turned to Milky Bars in order to keep in a permanent sugar rush.

[Edit] Teenage apprentice

"Rise, Lord Barney. And you'd better pay me back for those Milky Bars!"

―Darth Elmo

It was his social skills with children that made Darth Elmo, who was at the time looking for ways to increase his power, to seek out Barney and make him Elmo's apprentice. However, Barney was reluctant to accept the Sith's offer, so the frustrated Darth Elmo bribed him with Milky Bars. Barney, who was by then addicted to the chocolate, couldn't refuse.

[Edit] Number of people killed by Barney