- "I hate you, you hate me, we're all out to castrate me, and a big fat ass is in my face, oh, she'll diiiee..."
- ―Darth Barney
Darth Barney AKA "The Second Most Evil Thing In Eternity" (Darth Evil being the most evil DUH)- wait? What? C'mon! I mean, what are we? Five year olds? First it was Darth Elmo, then Big Bird, and now Barney? Jesus Christ people. Look lets stop the article right now. Make it a stub for all I care. Maybe we can get one of those crazies we call Admins to Delete this piece of bantha poodoo. Here, If you really want a story I'll tell you Barney's life's story in five words. He had no life. He was the Michael Jackson of Dinosaurs (the white version). Okay that was eleven words, but it doesn't matter. Go home. Oh wait...you're already at home jacking off to pictures of Miley Cyrus... Okay, how about you go read something useful like this or something else.
Early Life (8 BBY- 0 BBY)Edit
Darth Barney was a lowlife back then. In school he was made fun of because he played with preschoolers in 3rd grade- Okay, okay we get it. He was a loser. Now please, I beg of you, just leave. Go outside, play a sport, find a hooker, do something besides read this article. Its a disgrace to this wiki... Even Wookiepedia wouldn't except the article and they're the funny ones. He just had a thing for little kids- Bad other personality. BAD! Finally, Barney had it with the kids in school. Seeing Barney's positive effect on kids, the Jedi Hippies took the dejected Purple freak in. He worked in the younglings area but was dismissed when it was found that his intentions were not all that compliant with the Jedi code. Angered, he joined the Sith. But he was too weak, and so he turned to Milky Bars in order to keep in a permanent sugar rush.
- "Rise, Lord Barney. And you'd better pay me back for those Milky Bars!"
- ―Darth Elmo
It was his social skills with children that made Darth Elmo, who was at the time looking for ways to increase his power, to seek out Barney and make him Elmo's apprentice. However, Barney was reluctant to accept the Sith's offer, so the frustrated Darth Elmo bribed him with Milky Bars. Barney, who was by then addicted to the chocolate, couldn't refuse.
Founding An OrganizationEdit
Darth Barney eventually founded a planet destruction team, which he decided to call Barney and Friends. The planet destruction team was full of evil dinosaurs, such as Darth Baby Bop and Darth BJ as well. Darth Flintstone attempted to join the organization, but Darth Barney ate him alive. Oh, and let's not forget those almighty evil reptilian Sith Lords: BOWSUH, Darth Ridley and Darth Kraid, the latter two of which devoured the fierce Jedi Knight Samus' parents on planet K2-L. Darth Bowser and Darth Kraid often argued over who was nicked from whom, whilst all along a little Jedi named Captain Lou Albino scuttled between their oversized feet, attempting to piss them off by turning them against each other, in which he succeeded.