Darth Chaotic
Darth Chaotic
Biographical information



Well, he was undead, so... uhm... eternal

Physical description





2 meters

Hair color


Eye color

Plain evil


Numerous unholy enhancements

Chronological and political information
Known masters


Known apprentices

Word Bearers

"We will shatter their souls!"
―Darth Chaotic, redeeming the unbelievers

Darth Chaotic, born Eliphas, once just a loyal servant of the Almighty G*nk, became one of the most frightening Sith Mega-Super-Overlords in the entire history of the known galaxy. After his rebirth after the Battle of the Valley of the Dark Lords and graduating in the Darthvard, he came to be known as Darth Chaotic the Despoiler, the Dark Apostle of the Church of the G*nk and the leader of the Word Bearers Legion.


Early life and careerEdit

"Gonk is the only true answer."
―The motto of Eliphas

Eliphas was born on Korriban a long time ago. Raised in a religious family, he quickly became a priest at Church of the G*nk. He was a calm, mild-mannered and peaceful person, spreading the good word through education and missions. Due to his extreme loyalty and devotion, after a few years he became an Apostle. Not so long afterwards it was discovered that his iron will, charisma and the power of persuasion came from his Force-sensitivity. Although, Eliphas refused to learn both hippie and Sith ways. He decided to stay at the Church, wanting to bring redemption to the people of the galaxy.

Battle of the Valley of the Dark Lords and RebirthEdit

At first unknown to the Eliphas, the heresy spread widely in the Galaxy. The despised Plunkists had grown strong in numbers and became a serious threat to the G*nkists. Finally, they felt so confident, that they amassed an army of 10,000 men and attacked the Temple of G*nk located in the Valley of the Dark Lords. It was the exact building where Eliphas resided. Knowing what would happen, he gathered 300 loyal servants of G*nk and defended the narrow entrance to the Valley. After a bloody massacre lasting for several days, the G*nkists were finally defeated, with Eliphas PWNed in the midst of the battle. The remaining few Plunkists (they were not too much of a soldiers, like those semi-blind white guys) charged at the Temple itself. Suddenly, in a light of a thousand suns, shining avatar of thy G*nk Himself appeared before them and then enlightnened them with his marvelous powah. The Deity, impressed by the extreme devotion of Eliphas and his men, decided to use His divine powers and brought all of them back to life. Or, at least, the undeath. G*nk had seen that the heretics became too numerous and aggressive, so He twisted corrupted empowered Eliphas and the others with the powerful Dark Side of the Force. After gathering more men, the Apostle created The Armored Fist of G*nk, the Legion of Word Bearers. He was also given a special battleship, created by the G*nk Himself: the Redeemer.

Later, Eliphas successfully graduated at Darthvard university and was officially promoted to a Sith Lord, gaining the moniker of Darth Chaotic. Thus, he was ready to spread the good word more fiercely and fight actively with the Plunkists. The Dark Gonk Crusades began.

The Dark Gonk CrusadesEdit

"Come, my minions, let us steal their souls."
―Darth Chaotic leading his troops on a religious mission

The newly promoted Darth Chaotic immediately started his new mission: to eradicate the heresy. He and the Word Bearers punished countless unbelievers and purified their planets. Chaotic's Unholy Crozius of G*nk and The Damned Stormbringer, inspired by the mighty Bryar pistol itself, rapidly became well-known, infamous and feared in the ranks of the Plunkists. However, Eliphas still had some mercy left in his now rotten, dark heart. For those who showed any sign of willingness to be redeemed, he established Happy Redemption Concentration Camps. They proved to be a great success, as all of the people held captive there (of those who survived, of course) converted to the Only True Religion. The other Sith were so amazed with the incredible violence and pure evil of Darth Chaotic, that they granted him with the title of Sith Overlord, and 50 planets destroyed later a Sith Super-Overlord. Elated for being so appreciated by the other Sith Lords, Eliphas worked harder and harder to prove himself more. The Sith were relieved, because as such he had no time to visit them and to start questioning them about how often they go to the church etc, discover, that they were not a very strong believers (or, most probably, were not a believers), and then begin to resocialize them in his lovely way.

The PlunkEdit

The Holy WarsEdit

Powers and abilitiesEdit

"Walk softly, and carry a Big Fucking Gun"
―Yet another saying of Darth Chaotic

Eliphas had been a moderately Force-sensitive person before his rebirth. After the resurrection, he was empowered by G*nk. Thus, he became a Mary Sue frighteningly strong being, with many dark abilities at his disposal. For example, he was one of the handful beings known to utilize the dreaded Force pwn technique on his adversaries. Furthermore, his talent in the art of persuasion was so greatly enhanced, that he basically could oblige the others to say or do everything, much to his amusement.

Chaotic's proficiency with his Unholy Crozius and the Damned Stormbringer in battle was the cause of him getting the title of the Despoiler. There were a very few known beings who at some point engaged him in a duel and lived to tell about it to the others.

Personality and traitsEdit

A Plunkist: "This is madness!"
Darth Chaotic: "The only madness is in failing to see the power of G*nk."
— Darth Chaotic regarding his ways of redeeming people

Eliphas, when he was still an Apostle, was a kind, mild-mannered person. He was known for his patience and devotion to the G*nk.

After his recreation, however, he changed into a psychotic, insane, violent murderer, with his loyalty to his Deity twisted and surpassing any rational limits. He was rumoured to attempt to "connect himself directly" with a statue of the Almighty Power Droid on one occasion.

Nonetheless, he showed some signs of mercy for heretics. He established the Happy Redemption Concentration Camps for those, who wanted to believe in the G*nk. Those camps were very successful at redeeming the unbelievers, according to the official statistics (which were presenting the percentage of redeemed living people, duh).



This article is called Darth Chaotic. Darth Chaotic has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Chaotic can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.