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Darth Crate
Biographical information



67 ABY


131 ABY

Physical description


Chronological and political information
Known masters

Darth Krayt

Darth Crate was a Sith Underlord who carried stuff around for other, more impressive Sith with better names. He was the half-brother to Darth Krayt and Darth Kraft.

On Byss, Sylvana Zen, the secret apprentice of Darth Vader, was ordered by her master to sabotage Emperor Palpatine's cologne so he'd be too embarrassed to go out in public, thus letting Vader become the Emperor. She snuck in to Palpatine's bathroom and was holding his cologne bottle when Palpatine came in. Seeing a beautiful woman in his bathroom supposedly smelling his cologne gave him an idea, so he made Sylvana go to a cheap Motel 2 with him. They hit it off. Sylvana waited for just the right moment before she grabbed Palpatine's lightsaber and chopped his head off. Unfortunately, that little incident left Sylvana with a son, Darth Crate. Fearing what Vader would do if he found out, she left her son with the owner of the hotel. Seeing as no one in their right mind would work at a Motel 2, he made the boy work as a porter.

Besides being a porter, when the clientele didn't pay their bills Lord Crate was to sneak into their room and steal anything of value. One day two cheap Sith brothers, Darth Krayt and Darth Kraft, forgot to pay their bill for the third week in a row, Darth Crate snuck into their room while they were away. He was about to steal Kraft's lightsaber when Krayt came in. The two dueled, and Krayt obviously won. But Crate was able to show some potential, so Krayt made him his apprentice who carried his things around, bitter that he never had an apprentice do that at Darth-Mart because they kicked him out. Krayt was brutal to his half-brother, often filling his suitcases with rocks just to see Crate struggle. Having enough, Darth Crate ran away and now works as an attendant on the Sith airline, Darthas, where he lifts luggage of wimpy Sith and serves cranberry juice to the ones who actually are good at being a Sith.

This article is called Darth Crate. Darth Crate has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Crate can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

Darth crate also has a huuuuuuge doodle. "Poopy-di scoop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop Poop-di-scoopty Scoopty-whoop Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop Poop-diddy, whoop-scoop Poop, poop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-diddy-scoop Whoop-diddy-scoop, poop"

- Darth Crate, 2013