Darth Darth Binks's Sith Empire

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Darth Darth Binks's Sith Empire also known as DDBSE (pronounced DuhDuhBeeSee) was possibly the most successful Sith Empire in the long history of the unsuccessful Sith. Failures include, Darth Nixon, Darth Emo, Darth Nerd, and... Well, lets just say its a loooong list. Binks's Sith Empire contained approx 1.3 billion plus one planets [1] with roughly twice as many destroyed by Darth Darth Binks's private planet destroying team, Sesame Street.

ja ja Binks's Sith Empire had an unfortunate fall after Sesame Street collapsed, as Sesame Street basically ran the empire for Binks. Binks fled to Naboo, fearing Darth Jawa's wrath because Darth Jawa put him in charge of the Empire in the first place. In the end though, Darth Darth Binks met an unfortunate end at of qui-gon jinn, himself. [2]


The history of Binks's Sith Empire is a long and bloody one. Trillions of life forms died under Binks. The same thing went with millions of planet destruction rates that went up drastically due to Binks's rapid planet destruction [3]

Starting an EmpireEdit

You'd imagine starting an empire would be easy. Just order the premium package online with your credit card and a twenty credit off coupon. Four to six weeks later, you have an empire on your hands. Well your wrong. Its easier. Binks got an empire without doing anything. Everyone else did things for him. Binks's master, Darth Dookie got annoyed with Binks and exiled him to Tatooine. There, Darth Jawa found him and gave him his Sith Empire and Sesame Street because Jawa was to busy dealing with the Happy Pony Lovers. After that it was smooth sailing because Darth Elmo ran Binks's empire for him.

The Fall of an EmpireEdit

After Darth Elmo committed the ultimate act of treachery, Sesame Street fell apart, causing Darth Darth Binks to fall apart, causing the empire to fall apart. The empire gave way to a Republic of sorts, in which Darth Darth Binks ran for Senator of Naboo. He was killed by Darth Jawa, though, before the election, leading to his opponent's, Raj Raj Skinb's, victory by two votes.

Notable BattlesEdit


The campaign on Nabooboo was a long and hard one. Binks decided to spare it from destruction, as it was the home planet of his species, the Gungans. Instead he decided to to wipe out the human population of the planet. In the end though, what was left of the Nabooboo people surrendered. Binks went on to kill another thousand or so before leaving them be as another planet in his Empire. This later would be used against him when he ran for Senator of Naboo, but wasn't to big of an issue due to the fact his opponent, Raj Raj Skinb [4], was too much of an idiot to use it.


The bombardment of Kessel went on for weeks. Binks needed the planet for the spice, as it was of higher quality then the Death Sticks he was currently on. After several weeks, Binks navy was running low on supplies. With only one option (retreating was unthinkable), Binks ordered Darth Animal to lead a squad of elite soldiers down to the planet to take out the high security bases. That would lay down the path for the invasion force of five billion. Then with air support for several million fighters, there might have been a chance to take the space rock. Once this was all prepared, Animal lead the elite squad onto the planet. What they found: nothing. Every single living thing had been wiped out from the space rock. The mission's total cost was estimated somewhere between six quadrillion to 7 followed by 20 zeros. It was still considered a win by Binks because he got his spice.


The Invasion of Dagobah was the worst failure and only self-admitted loss of Binks's entire career (he wasn't alive when he lost the Senate race). Binks sent his entire force in. That's ten times the amount he prepared for Kessel. Binks wanted the swamp planet and he wasn't going to make any mistakes. He only made one. He messed with a Gary-Stu named Yoda. To make a short story even shorter, only a sixteenth of Binks's force came back alive. Yoda killed 94% of Binks's forces and then felt bad, so he let the rest retreat. Binks's decided not to mess with Yoda ever again...directly.

Notes and ReferencesEdit

  1. One more than the Old Republic bitch!
  2. The End
  3. As reported by Coruscant Sun columnist, Jax Pavan
  4. It is theorized that Raj Raj Skinb was an alias of Jar Jar Binks, but it was never confirmed.
This article is called Darth Darth Binks's Sith Empire. Darth Darth Binks's Sith Empire has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Darth Binks's Sith Empire can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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