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Darth Davros

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File: Davros Michel h5-1-.jpg
Darth Davros
Biographical information
Homeworld

Butt's My Anus

Born

66666666661818181818181818.2012

Died

2011, AD, Earth years

Physical description
Species

Kaled

Gender

Male...????? (To be confirmed...)

Height

Human height - originally - made slightly shorter when both his legs got eaten by a Rancor

Hair color

Bald

Eye color

Black like Death's

Cybernetics

His wheelchair

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

Kaled War Era/Clone Wars Era/Dalek Empire Era

Affiliation

His Daleks

Known masters

None, he ate the very first tutee he had

Known apprentices

Dalek Caan


Write the text of your article here! Write the text of your article here! Darth Davros was an entirely unreliable Sith Lord who existed during the Great Purge. He was famous for PWNing many Jedi, left, right, and Palpatine's anus. He owned many many Death Stars, Death Rats, and Death TIE Fighters. He was in command of the Dalek Empire, although one Jedi Master claimed that he hadn't invented the Daleks and that he was in fact the Dalek's pet.


Early lifeEdit

Darth Davros, aka Darth Darth 2012 Plzzz Make A Comeback Davros, was born in the year 66666666661818181818181818.2012 on the far-flung planet of Butt's My Anus. Darth Davros was utterly invincible and he was able to kick God's asses. Darth Davros apparently felt neglected by his parents as a child, which is actually an excuse many serial killers use as an excuse for punchin' someone in the face, you freak! Hey - Saved your ass, or so said Darth Davros' dad, when Darth Davros had crashed his Impala through the wall of a haunted house.

Darth Davros grew up rather peacefully, at least by Dalek standards, during the Kaled/Fascist/Old Hags in Pubs Wars on his homeplanet, Butt's My Anus, translated by some in the local language as Skaro. Darth Davros was known for rescuing young monsters and recruiting them to his ranks, and then teaching them the meaning of life: That the Universe was a gigantic chocolate cookie that one day he would slowly eat. When the monsters, many of whom were highly intelligent, asked him for proof of this, Darth Davros said, "Well it's been proven that 99% of the Universe is dark matter, eh? So... that dark matter is gooey chocolate."

When Darth Davros rescued a fox and let it live, his dad flew into an utter rage and told him to go to college and never come back. So Darth Davros did exactly that. He went to college and studied physics and science and made A-Bombs in class. One day when his teacher gave him a black mark for being late, Darth Davros took that as a racial insult against him as he was black back then, and he blew up his school with the A-Bomb he had made in class.


Life as a hunterEdit

One day, twenty years later, Darth Davros' home was broken into by none other than his only brother, Darth Voldemort. The two spent five minutes duking it out in Honeydukes before realizing who each other was, and then Darth Davros asked why the fuck Darth Voldemort had broken in at the middle of the night and expected him to hit the road with him. Darth Davros took off with his bro, and together they hunted some rapist ghost. After blowing the ghost's brains out with a silver slug, Darth Davros remembered that he had a hot girlfriend back at his flat who was burning to Darth.

Upon seeing his girlfriend's new Sith suit covering her multiple burns, Darth Davros decided it was too much like Vader and he dumped her. So he went off hunting with his brother, Darth Voldemort, and together they killed a fuzzy, furry friend, a ghost, a demon, another ghost, an shape-changer, a ghost with a hook, a swarm of bugs, two ghosts, more ghosts, a shitcrow god, an immoral preacher, Route 666, a nightmare, Sith, an animal, Hell House, something wicked, a haunted painting, vampire sex, Salvation, and Remember the Daleks? (Beat) And the Cybermen? (Beat) AND THE FACT THAT THESE MONSTERS ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE BEEN SEEN IN THE SERIES SO FAR???

Darth Davros may have not really liked hunting, but he saved a lot of lives doing it too.

Meeting Willy WonkaEdit

One day, Darth Davros was invited to a chocolate factory! Not just any chocolate factory, but the one floating in outer space orbiting his home planet, Butt's My Anus, translated by some to be Skaro. Darth Davros had not had a thing to eat since three Octobers ago, and he jumped at the opportunity, but needless to say, the tour was just that, a tour. No eating chocolates was allowed. Darth Davvy was so hungry that he nibbled on just one piece of sugar grass, pleassssee... and he got flushed down the lav and out into the factory courtyard. He was so young and naive he came up to the Doctor and said "Please, sir, may I have some more?" but then Cthulhu knocked him out cold. When he came to, Darth Davros had created a Dalek, he had the brilliant idea for creating one, based on his depiction of Cthulhu from his attack. So he shat from his butt and within seconds, the Dalek was born, shocking the Doctor, who forced him to abort his creation. The Darth Davros told him to get lost, and thus the Daleks were born.

The Daleks were the most successful and popular alien race ever in the galaxy, famous for their catchphrase "Exterminaten!" ...And yes, that's German.

Great and 1.2 microsecond Dalek empireEdit

This episode revealed that Darth Davros had flown into the jaws of the Nightmare Child for a quick party in the sewers of Skaro, where he met many hot girls and had mutliple booze. Darth Davros returned into the present thanks to another squid and he got high, impending doom on the Universe and being responsible for a volcano getting drunk. Darth Davros planned to end Time itself by telling it to get lost and then he would press the Demolition Switch which would blow the Universe to rubble. Only the Daleks would survive, being entities of kick-ass-awesomeness.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Darth Davros. Darth Davros has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Davros can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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