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Darth Richards

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DarthRichards
Darth Richards
Biographical information
Homeworld

Tatooine, California

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Height

1.96 m

Hair color

Black

Eye color

Brown (and evil)

Chronological and political information
Affiliation

Sith-Felled

Known apprentices

Darth Newman

Darth Richards was a Human male stand up comic artist and Sith Lord. His promising life of fame and glory ended prematurely after people found out that he was a rapist during a live performance.

Early LifeEdit

Darth Richards, like so many promising young people before him, grew up on a small planet known as Tatooine. As a youngling he would frequently visit bars like those in Mos Eisley, where he was exposed to the sort of drunken, degenerate behavior that would lead to him turning into a rapist later in life. As he grew older, he began working Tuesday nights (that was kid's night in bars on Tatooine), as a stand-up comic artist and made a name for himself. He began touring the galaxy, greatly amusing his ever-growing fanbase, and using his emerging Sithly Force powers to make people laugh even if they didn't think he was funny.

Sith-FelledEdit

Darth Richards hit the big-time upon joining the holo-show Sith-Felled, a show about destroying nothing. His popularity grew exponentially, and soon he began raising a small Dark Army of the Sith for his very own. This would have been handy when it came to destroying planets, ultimately leading to Sith Lordship and retirement with full health and dental. However, this was not to be.

Disaster at the Laugh Military Droid PlantEdit

Darth Richards' rise in power, however, was short-lived and ended during the inaugural party of his Droid Plant on Laugh. There, while performing a stand-up routine he revealed the galaxy what a true rapist he was. He was inebriated (he had met some old Tatooine buds before the show) and found himself powerless to deal with harassment from some malprogrammed droids among his guests, so he began to hurl tasteless and offensive jokes about rape at them. The Galaxy was appalled at this blatant display of rapist behavior, and even while being taken off stage, Darth Richards made rapist gestures at his guests.

Later Darth Richards would repeatedly apologize for his behavior, but would failed to prove he was not a rapist. In fact, investigations proved he was a born rapist with an over-blown pride in his own rape and that he had been involved in rape related offenses even as a youngling. Darth Richards was a blatant, immoral, lying multiple-rape offender who—hold on a second, was I typing 'p' this whole time? Oh Good lord, no no no, that wasn't supposed to be 'p', goodness sakes that was a 'c'. I mean, Darth Richards was an intergalactic racist not a rapist. I mean sure he was bad, but not that bad! Damn Dvorak! Ok, ok, ok, I'm way too tired to edit this, just remember that all that stuff I said about Darth Richards and rape, that was supposed to be about Darth Richards and race. Ahem. So, yeah, Darth Richards was a racist, for which we hated him very much.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Darth Richards. Darth Richards has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Richards can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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