"Yo, <insert name here>, this is an okay article. Ima let you read it, but Beyoncé has one of the best articles of all time!"
Darth Ruptus was an amazing, genius Sith Lord who roamed the galaxy, seeking out albums where he could grab a microphone and drop a dope ass rhyme, which ranged from personal problems to politics to fine wines. Darth Twitter claimed that Ruptus was dead in order to take his throne, but Darth Hunter decided to spoil Twitter's plan.
Darth Ruptus was born Anye Quest on Metellos. A mild-mannered youth, he kept to himself mostly. All of the authority figures in his life lectured him extensively. His parents, teachers, bosses, probation counselors, and psychotherapists went on at length while young Anye listened politely. But while Anye sat and listened, great genius was building within the young man.
Events came to a head when he set ears upon Darth Jay, a legendary, awesome, dark-skinned Don from Nabooboo. From that point on, he could not drop a poor rhyme... losing all control, whenever presented with the opportunity to spot some lyrics. In the middle of class, in the middle of his workday at Gucci and Prada, or in the middle of his being the baddest you've ever seen, Anye would suddenly interject something like, "Excuse me is you sayin something? nuh-uh you can't tell me nothing!"
"He's the greatest to ever do it... exactly as I had foreseen."
Eventually, Darth Swift became overwhelmed with Anye's antics and decided to kill herself because she would never compare. This drove her fans into a fit of rage, prompting them to burst into the Galactic Senate on Coruscant in the middle of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's Declaration of a New Order. They grabbed Darth Swift's album and shouted, "Sales are all that matter so if we buy enough albums she will be relevant." Then they slaughtered a bunch of younglings, turned evil, renamed Anye "Darth Ruptus," and set out on a quest to catch feelings everytime Ruptus proved that he was the greatest to ever do it.
Darth Swift decided that it was time to silence her foe for good. She recorded a dumb song called Innocent and thought that it would hurt Ruptus feelings. Ruptus proceeded to not give a fuck. Darth Swift fans seemed to think it was the most amazing diss ever and declared Ruptus dead.