Darth Penis 01

It's also a Pez dispenser.

"Now, I know how it feels to be Padmé."
Obi-Wan Kenobi

Darth Vader's penis was Darth Vader's penis, Duh. It was frequently a victim of the Force choke, although rarely in public. After the fall of the Jedi Order, it featured quite prominently in the Rise of the Sith. It is used in a similar fashion to the lightsaber, holstered at the hip, although most of its abilities can be negated with a cold shower. Power levels have been shown to rise in the presence of specific materials.

Darth Vader soon lost his penis though, in his fight with his old "mentor" on Mustafar. When the Jedi Master defeated Lord Vader, he proclaimed his love for him, after this Obi-Wan collected Vader's lightsaber, his rectum, and his penis.

Luke Skywalker found his fathers missing body parts years later in Obi-Wan Kenobi's bed, Both were frozen in carbonite, Wormie puked very hard and we don't blame him. Only one testicle was included in the carbonite slab, and that ultimately proved the truth in the old raucous Rebel song "Vader has only got one ball".

His penis was never replaced with a functioning robot dick and is now a series of tubes allowing him to pee. In it's place is now a pez dispenser.


This article is called Darth Vader's penis. Darth Vader's penis has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Vader's penis can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Darth Vader's penis.

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