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Darth Voltar

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Darth Voltar
Biographical information
Homeworld

Earth

Born

1985 (Age 25)

Died

NOOOOOOOOO!

Physical description
Species

Voltar's species

Gender

Male

Height

very short

Hair color

Hard to say, he never takes his mask off.

Eye color

Yellow

Cybernetics

Hard to say, he never takes his suit off.

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

Rise of the Empire Era

Affiliation
Known masters

No mortal commands the Great Voltar!

Known apprentices
"FUCK YOU, Red Menace!"
―Voltar's catchphrase

Darth Voltar is a Dark Lord of the Sith and leader of the League of Super Evil. Unlike Darth Small, he was kinda badass. His minions noted his persistence. If he wanted something to happen, it would happen (or at least he would pretend it would happen). His goal is to take over the neighborhood! MOOWHAHAHAHAHA!

Early LifeEdit

Not much is known about his early life. This is the current collected information:

  • Birth Date: 1985
  • Birthplace: Unknown (maybe Earth, maybe not)
  • Parents: Unknown
  • Species: Unknown
  • A side note: his birthday is one day after Darth Frogg's.

Forming LOSEEdit

Voltar, at an unknown date, decided that the world should be his and that evil was the way to go, so he set out to find the perfect henchmen--stupid, but obeying. Sadly, Voltar wasn't evil in the true sense, so he accidentally picked out three of the lamest shitheads ever. First, he ventured to Germany where he found a deranged, danger-prone cyborg named Doktor Frogg. Frogg was truly the most evil being in the universe, but he neither possessed the strength or the luck to ever do anything evil, so he went with Voltar. For awhile, Frogg and Voltar got in touch with the Dark Side and became Darths, Voltar being the master and Frogg being the apprentice. Voltar needed more minions, so Frogg told him about his pen pal Reginald "Red" Menace.

Frogg: "Well, I do have a pen pal named Red Menace."
Voltar: "Hmmm...that sounds EEEEVIL! I shall induct him right away!"
Frogg: "But Voltar, he's not what you think..."
Voltar: "Shut up, Frogg!"
Frogg's Thoughts: "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Master and apprentice traveled on foot to find Red in Russia. It turns out, he was just some happy-go-lucky farm boy who loved EVERYTHING. "Shit!" said Voltar. Next, Voltar needed one more minion, so Red offered his doom hound Doomageddon. This failed horribly, because the mutt kept eating Frogg. But Voltar didn't notice. They all moved to Metrotown where they purchased their piece-of-shit secret lair and 32 henchbots, but only numbers 17 and 32 survived Doomageddon's abuse. Reduced to only six members, Voltar happily lowered the bar to just taking over the neighborhood. Yeah I know, he's not really evil.

CurrentEdit

VOLTAR!

Currently, Voltar is making thousands of failed attempts to take over the neighborhood and other lame things like opening a letter, since LOSE never gets any. But one day...some day soon...Frogg plans to emerge...

AlliesEdit

EnemiesEdit

  • Cougar
  • Skullossus
    • Skullmandos
  • Wiggles
  • Commander Chaos
  • Doom Driver
  • The Other League of Super Evil
  • Mysterio Villaino
  • Jules LeSimian Faggot
    • Ninja Waiters
  • Rock Gothlington (former)
  • Susie Scouts
    • Sweets
  • Dr. Budlington Von Pantaloon III
  • Mal Milk
  • Bellhop Gene
  • Janitor Gene
  • Museum Gene
  • Nanny Boo Boo
  • General Sergeant
    • Lightning Liz
  • Team League of Insignificant Urchins
    • Glory Guy
    • Lightning Liz
    • Sweets
    • Kids
    • Force Faggots V
      • Rose
      • Magenta
      • Goldenrod
      • Seafoam Green
      • Purple Fatass
  • Mr. Nelson
  • Mrs. Johnson
  • Miss B. Bitchy
  • Steve
  • Rotten Core Technologies
    • Steve Jobs
  • Linemaster
    • Line Bots
  • Mr. Chinky
    • Guy
  • Bandango

LegacyEdit

Emperor Palpatine followed Voltar's "never give up" and "slowly work your way to the top" techniques.

PersonalityEdit

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I DEMAND TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED!

Voltar is easily upset and wants everything done HIS way. His standards are low, (as in taking over the neighborhood) but he thinks he is the most evil thing ever. He likes to veg out.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Darth Voltar. Darth Voltar has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Voltar can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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