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Darth Wonka

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Darth Wonka
Biographical information
Homeworld

Earth

Born

67 ABY

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Hair color

Color-changing

Eye color

Brown

Chronological and political information
Affiliation

Sith

Known masters

His own??

Known apprentices

Anybody's name involving candy

"It's Scrumdidilyumptious!"
―Darth Wonka

Darth Wonka, also known as Willy Wonka was the owner of a giant chocolate factory on Tatooine, primarily known for making innocent children into candy. His first victims were from Earth however, but we have no idea how he got there. He also sells his merchandise in the Mos Eisley Cantina, which lures in even the greatest Jedi. He was known to be trained by Darth Baker, but that is still rumored around Tatooine.

He even got affiliated by Sesame Street, in which Darth Elmo made him destroy Earth in order to obtain his retail license.

He is also responsible for the tragic fate of Darth Chocolate.

BiographyEdit

Darth Wonka was born as Willy Wonka to Dr. Wilbur Wonka, D.D.S. on an unknown planet, which he calls "Earth". Ever since he got those hideous braces, his father forbade him to ever touch a piece of candy. As he grew up, he ran away from home, but apparently ran too far and ended up on Tatooine, which was where he found his first-ever native Tatooinian candy. He named them, "Everlasting Gobstoppers".

These Gobstoppers were then sold in the Mos Eisley Cantina as a garnish for most cocktail drinks. However, Darth Vader stopped by one day and asked, "Where do you make these, 'Gobstoppers' of yours?", which gave him an idea. Thus began the construction of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

When he turned 25, the construction was complete in both settings: Tatooine and Darth Disney World.

Personality and traitsEdit

Darth Wonka was known to have a strong Oompa Loompa fetish. He had thousands of Oompa Loompa sex slaves working in his chocolate factory. At night, he would hold private parties where the slaves would have to lick chocolate from certain areas of Wonka. Over the course of years, his Oompa Loompa slaves grew more and more, causing Wonka to use them as a tax write off. When one slave caught his eye, Wonka trained the Oompa Loompa in the ways of the Dark Side. This later backfired, as the apprentice became an Internet nuisance, trolling many websites.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Darth Wonka. Darth Wonka has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Darth Wonka can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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