Darthipedia:Featured Sith
From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 1,210 articles
Featured Sith are the best articles Darthipedia has to offer. That doesn't necessarily mean the funniest. Featured Sith are the most well-written, complete and original articles on the wiki. This is a list of past present and future Featured Sith. To nominate a Featured Sith, go to Darthipedia:Featured Sith Nominations.
[edit] History/Queue
[edit] Darth Sorrow (September 2007)
Darth Sorrow was a mountain Sith Mega-Super-Overlord. Emotionally unstable for a large portion of his life, Darth Sorrow was a master lightsaber user, and used Form VIII, also known as the way of the Ding-bat, drawing on his inner sadness to blast his adversaries to oblivion. With a midi-chlorian count of over 60,000,000, Darth Sorrow was one of the most powerful bad guys ever to rule the Galaxy.
However, he was not always evil. Born with a name unpronounceable to other species, Sorrow lived a happy youth on his native Endor, playing with Ewoks and Yuzzums. However, tragedy struck in 4 ABY, when the Empire decided to build a road through Sorrow's parents. Mount Sorrow was left familyless, and very, very, very sad.
He was trained by Darth Obviouson Endor, and after being forced to kill his master, he swore a vendetta against the Empire and the Force; the two things he felt we responsible for the death of his mentors. He traveled the Galaxy in an attempt to destroy them, incurring a wild adventure, where Sorrow killed a dysfunctional family, became the leader of a bunch of fishy things, fought with an insane, quadruple lightsaber wielding Gungan Sith, gatecrashed a New Year's Party, destroyed some planets, and died.
[edit] Darth Revan (October 2007)
Darth Revan was an awesome not female Sith Lord with a mullet. He attracted thousands of fanboys all over the world, and pwned. He could do all the Force powers and all the Force forms and had a midi-chlorian count of infinity. He was a Jedi, then became a Sith, kicking ass with his Star Forge.
Then Revan's mind was wiped (like in Harry Potter!) and he was trained as a Jedi. He went around the galaxy gaining prestige, changing classes, yada yada yada. After a while, his girlfriend Bastila was kidnapped by a jealous Malak, angry that he couldn't get a girl despite being the Supreme Sith Lord. He trained her as his apprentice. After meeting hairy beasts, fish dudes (not the Mon Cal), a kool assassin droid who was full of magnificent quotes, a crying wimp and a crazy old guy, he made it back to the Star Forge.
After destroying it and winning back his Bastila, Revan left the galaxy to kick some Yuuzhan Vong butt. He never came back.
[edit] Darth Elmo (November 2007)
Darth Elmo was a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord known for being more evil than any other being in the Galaxy. He was so evil, in fact, that his attempt to set up his own Galaxy-spanning Sith Empire failed only because he turned on himself, in what later Sith would enviously call "the ultimate act of treachery." He was most dangerous in that he could easily deceive others with that stupid grin on his face and then unleash a world of hurt on them. He specialized in the Tickle torture.
He was the head of the cruel organization known as Sesame Street, that specialized in destroying planets. Darth Elmo never trained an apprentice because he was too paranoid. He didn’t trust anyone, not even himself. He was trained in the ways of the Sith and the ways of the juicer by Darth Jawa, a Jawa Dark Lord of the Sith. Duh! Darth Elmo spent most of his life working for Darth Darth Binks, he destroyed many planets in his relatively short life.
[edit] Darth Darth Binks (December 2007)
Darth Darth Binks was a Gungan Sith Mega-Super-Overlord during the Old Republic. A brilliant tactician, orator, and juggler, Lord Binks established the Rule of Poo under which the Dark Lords of the Sith flourished during the Great Binge and Purge. The Sith Empire founded by Binks outlasted even the Sith Empire of Darth Defatigable. He was the brother of the anemic Darth Plagueis.
[edit] Darth Plagueis (January 2008)
Darth Plagueis was a skinny bad guy Dark Lord, who liked to play God, but was unsuccessful at acting. His alien species was some kind of things called Muuns, but who cares about them anyways, they were anorexic losers (his true alien species was Gungan, as you will see). Darth Plagueis grew to be such a powerful Sith that he had destroyed at least 1,260,978,645 planets during his lifetime, he created the loser Anakin Skywalker out of some germs called midi-chlorians, which subsequently helped in creating the much cooler Darth Vader, he himself had a midi-chlorian count of 200,000,000,000, he could bend his body in many disturbing ways (including his famous Backbreak/Split Move), and he even stopped a book from being published that would have given all of his "well-guarded" secrets away to unsuspecting losers, possibly destroying them. That was the only kind act he ever did in his whole freakin' life. He lived during 1,782 BBY through 2 BBY (or is it 2 ABY through 23,947 BBY?). During one of his crazy parties where he got drunk (like he always did) and couldn't use his awesome Force powers, he was killed by his apprentice on accident (if indeed it was an "accident"), the much weaker but still awesome Palpatine, AKA Darth Sidious. Some shocking revelations were recorded in history about him from the biography he so "kindly" wrote (that few are priviliged enough to even glance at), which you are and will be reading about shortly.
[edit] Darth Psycho (February 2008)
Darth Psycho was a crazy Teek Sith Mega-Super-Overlord native to the planet Endor who lived some time after the death of Darth Sorrow. As a young 'un, he was a bit of a messer, and one day, along with his beloved friends, he traveled to the top of the ghost of a big mountain, which, as it transpired, had a bit of a personality. The Force Ghost of Darth Sorrow then trained Psycho in the ways of the Sith, and over time, the little madman became extremely powerful.
He eventually killed a bunch of Ewoks, had a fight with Wormie, grew a second head, and became the Emperor. He was an extremely powerful individual, and did not hesitate to use unusual methods to defeat his many adversaries. In the end, he was remembered not as a hero, a savior or even a nice guy, but as a three foot hight, hairy megalomaniac.
[edit] Darth Pillsbury (March 2008)
Darth Pillsbury, also known as That Annoying White Puff! was quite possibly the most unspectacular Super-Megalomaniac-Overlord Sith Lord in history, often failing at the dumbest tasks the Sith gave him (such as getting publishing rights for his memoirs). Indeed, many even wonder how he managed to achieve the latter rank (although the scientific community continues to debate it until this day, as they have nothing better to do, the general explanation is "What the heck?! That's what we call dumb blind luck!"). He once tried to become a Jedi, but he failed, so he became a Sith instead (why they accepted him in their order is still unknown).
He was also the official mascot for Sith Happens Condom and Pregnancy Test Emporium. When Darth Elmo sent him on a suicide mission he was killed. The Sith never found out what went wrong, but they were all very surprised that a great Sith *cough* loser *cough* like Darth Pillsbury got killed during a suicide mission.
[edit] Darth Animal (April 2008)
Darth Animal was a raging madman from Kashyyyk. Born to a Mandalorian father and a Wookiee mother (which technically made him a Klingon), he was Darth Elmo's main enforcer because he Pwnd ultimate due to his unique heritage. His official Sesame Street title was Darth Elmo's Hand. He destroyed three planets before joining Sesame Street, impressing Darth Elmo so much that he was given the monicker Darth and a less subtle one. His main task in the Sesame Street organization was to utterly destroy anyone who would oppose his masters rule. he was in fact the last line of defense for Darth Elmo the Treacherous. Later in his career, he used Force Disco in the horrible Twi'lek Purge, and afterwards escaping Darth Darth Binks's wrath using only his primal cunning. His end came when he "argued" with Kermit on who had the better lightsaber form (Darth Animal's Jar'Kai vs. Kermit's Ataru).
[edit] Steve Perry (May 2008)
Steve Perry was the writer of the highly-acclaimed novel, Shadows of the Empire. Or was he that awesome dude that sang "Don't Stop Believin'"? Anyway, Steve Perry was the writer of the highly-acclaimed novel, Shadows of the Empire and/or that awesome dude that sang "Don't Stop Believin'." The writer and/or singer was later replaced by a pale imitation who could not master the subtleties of Xizor's characterization, but actually sounded a lot like Steve Perry. If he's the first guy, he also brought us uber sexbot Guri. If he's the second guy, he scored with the uber sexbot Guri.
Later in his life, Perry turned to the Dark Side and became known as Darth Open-Arms. He attained his highest degree of popular and critical success during his Sith years, but succumbed to the usual temptations of fame, including drugs, booze, womanizing, gambling, tax evasion, and out-of-control novel writing.
[edit] The Hag (June 2008)
The Hag was a bipedal humanoid of unknown gender, but with just enough feminine characteristics to merit the pronoun "she". Through a failure of its oversight committee, she was taken into the Jedi Order, first as a lightsaber target, and later as a student. It was because of this that her gender was uncertain. She was knighted clumsily by a fellow Jedi with a vibropike, which caused the loss of an eye. She became a librarian, and trained Revan at the wishes of the Council, whose members hoped that the not-woman prodigy's power would be stunted as a result. During the Mandalorian Wars Kreia spent her time reading old issues of National Astrographic magazines. When Revan started the Jedi Civil War, the Jedi Council decided that she, having been his teacher, was a convenient scapegoat, and severed her from the Force. Furthermore, the operation was done without anesthetic... so it hurt... a lot. Kreia then became disillusioned with the Jedi, and left to learn the ancient Sith mysteries of PARANOIA. Eventually, she became a Sith Lord, although certain feminists such as Atris insisted she had, in fact, become a Sith Lady. Her new Sith buddies PWNed her, however, so she went to stalk the Jedi Exile, who killed her. No one attended her funeral for fear of the Evil Eye. Isn't that sad?
[edit] Dearth Nadir (July 2008)
Dearth Ibn Motamid Nadir (also called Gonzo) was a fuzzy blue Sith Lord during the Mandalorian Wars. Born to a family of Whatevers, his mother died two months before he was born. She did leave a note, however, with his name on it. The fact that his mother died before he was even fully developed was a shocking blow to the little furball. His father abandoned him as a young child, meaning he had to care for himself. This drove him into the depths of madness, and he became a demented little blue servant of the Dark Side of the Force.
After his assumption of the title Dearth Nadir, his original identity as Gonzo was stolen by none other than Gonzo. Why Gonzo would steal Gonzo's identity is unknown, but he did it all the same. Dearth Nadir didn't care, because he was too busy trying to destroy planets.
Later in life he became obsessed with destroying planets, but all of his attempts ended with his death in one bizarre way or another. Many Sith were amazed that he could die and live so many times. This made him an icon among their ranks. He was also famous for his acrobatic flair, performing numerous life threating stunts which also ended in his death. He also was notable for his fetish for Chickens and odd costumes.
[edit] Darth Baker (August 2008)
Darth Baker was the most dangerous (and only) Sith Mega-Super-Baker-Overlord ever. He was not the type who makes planets go kaboom. Instead he preferred to bake things that make planets kaboom. He was the maker of these Sith Lords, who waged war throughout the Galaxy. His first apprentices were Darth Slice and Darth Yeast, and many many more didst rise and bake in his vile oven.
His love of Frog Legs was legendary, and possibly brought on by a traumatic childhood experience with a rapist frog (a frog who rapes, not a person who rapes frogs). Many of these Frogs met their deaths in his kitchen. Even the aggressor in the earlier incident feared him. This, coupled with his love of Jawa Juice Sauce made him one of the most formidable Sith ever.
His fondness for the dark arts of cooking, however, would lead to his demise. The vile apprentices he would bake in his ovens would turn upon him, and kill him in the end. Darth Slice and Darth Yeast would become the most famous of these creations.
Instead of a lightsaber, he wielded a Light-Rolling Pin, a deadly instrument of evil cookery that only he knew the secrets of. This is because (as we shall see soon enough) evil.
[edit] Darth-2 D2 (September 2008)
Darth-2 D2 was a Dark Droid of the Sith. He crowned himself Emperor after Darth Vader sent Palpy spelunking in the Death Stars shaft. He was outfitted with a recording of a sinister Darth Vader breathing sound. It was the only way he would ever communicate and It scared the crap out of his subordinates. Later in his career as a Sith Lord he managed a lemonade stand on Tatooine where he would sell Jawa Juice, something he learned to do when studying ancient Sith Lore. He also PWND some MANDALORIANs as well as two of their leaders. And then he even had a sexual innuendo with a Basilisk War Droid. Later he became Sith-Master of his own apprentice which eventually led to an endless battle were it not for the intervention of the Kyle Katarn counterpart of droids.
[edit] Visas Marr (October 2008)
Visas Marr was a Miraluka from Katarr who survived the destruction of said planet and became a housekeeper for Darth Nihilus aboard the ravager. She cooked and cleaned for the entire crew which she subsequently killed some time later. In a career move she started to work for the competition and gave the Ebon Hawk a nice makeover. Later on she became a part of MANDALORIAN legend when she became Canderous Ordo's 47th wife. Her sarcophagus in the Mausoleum of the Mandalore's is frequently visited by Mandalorian female's in order to find the inspiration and motivation to do their housewife related tasks.
[edit] Jemima Butterworth (November 2008)
Aunt Jemima Butterworth was an expert syrup maker living on Corellia during the Puppet Crisis. She was also better known as being the girlfriend of the very flamboyant Darth Pillsbury whom she had met during her time at the Sith Academy of Culinary Arts. Jemima struggled through many troubles throughout her life, including the dropping of an inflatable forklift on her head during pregnancy, the public embarrassment of becoming a "cheat" on Iron Chef: Sith Edition, a second public embarrassment as she found out her boyfriend was in fact a gay puff and the revelation that she never really existed in the first place. Butterworth eventually became a highly feared Sith named Darth Buttery Biscuits, a name that would cause minor panic throughout the entire galaxy for days.
[edit] Darth Bob (December 2008)
Darth Bob, born Bob, was a man of few words, all of which were unintelligent nonsense, and brother to Elmo. At a young age, Bob's parents took the boys to meet the highly feared Sith Lord, Darth Fellatio. However, upon meeting the man, Bob gained crabs, forcing the parents of the young boys to shave all of the fur off of his skin. Just weeks later, Bob was dropped off at the door of a slaughterhouse, never to speak to his parents again.
Soon after, Bob became an employee at the slaughterhouse as the scruffy-looking nerf-fluffer, earning less-than minimum wage. While fluffing a nerf one day, the owner of the slaughterhouse mistook Bob as a Chinaman and dropped an inflatable forklift on his head, resulting in massive scars across his body. The young man stayed at the woman's house for the next few weeks while healing, developing a deep friendship with her. Before he knew it, Bob was adopted by the owner.
Within the following days, Bob became a a total failure a successful business man who, upon realizing that he was in fact in love with his new mother, scored with her. Caught in an affair with his mother by the slaughterhouse workers, Bob was humiliated. Feeling he had no-where else to turn, the young man fell to the Dark Side, becoming highly moderately feared Darth Bob. After this, Bob's life was devoted to finding and ruining the lives of homosexuals. Over the next several years, Darth Bob had many failures and little triumphs, his greatest of which was the kidnapping of his own brother, who had since become the highly feared Sith Lord, Darth Elmo. Proving that Darth Bob was just a loser, Elmo's secret apprentice, Darth Animal, freed the puppet and nearly killed Bob himself. Darth Bob, however, was able to escape the wrath of Animal and go into exile. After his brother committed "the ultimate act of treachery" and killed himself, Bob formed an empire of his own and tried to overthrow Darth Darth Binks with his army of Banana Peels. Unfortunately for Bob, he failed miserably yet again, later killing himself.
[edit] Darth Main Page (January 2009)
Darth Main Page, also known as Darth Ipedia, was born to Default on August 10th, 2007 and was a Dark Lord of the Sith known for dedicating his entire life to studying, collecting, and organizing arcane bits of useless information. No one ever had the heart to tell him his sources weren't terribly trustworthy, except at the moment of his death at the hands of Darth Awesome. When he realized that all of his knowledge was complete lies, and that his life's work had been the greatest fallacy since Crystal Pepsi, he is said to have remarked, "Meh."
[edit] Piglet (February 2009)
Piglet, sometimes referred to as Piglett, was the only son of Miss Piggy. Conceived via the Force by Darth Darth Binks upon the request of Piggy after her husband Kermit was brutally murdered by HK-47, Piglet's youth was difficult. After many years of closely watching over Piggy and her son, Darth Darth Binks killed the woman in an attempt to claim Piglet as his own and train him in the ways of the Force. Fortunately for Piglet, the boy was able to escape and live on his own within the cruel streets of Mos Eisley working as a pimp. At the age of ten, his ho ran off with another pimp and he was out of a job.
Seeking shelter in a nearby cave during a sandstorm, Piglet met his "father" Kermit one night, albeit a Force Ghost. Convincing him he was the sacred Pig'ari, an ancient prophecy of a pig with amazing powers ending the pig slavery, Piglet joined forces with Kermit and agreed to be trained in the ways of the Force. This proved unfortunate for Kermit as Piglet also joined forces with Kermit's killer, HK-47, and killed the frog with his super-duper-ultra-amazing-super-duper-times-two weapon, the saw of doom.
The pig-droid combo would destroy countless planets with unparalleled carnage and bloodshed. Unfortunately, Piglet's only apprentice, Darth Donger, accidentally stabbed the pig, putting an end to his reign of terror.
[edit] Darth Oscar (March 2009)
Darth Oscar, born Opera Sacrifice Canopy Auto Rabbit but shortened to Oscar, was a disgusting fatass Puppet from Dagobah. Oscar was born a dumpster baby by his teenage mother, Mission Vao, who had just recently been impregnated by her boyfriend much older boyfriend Jolee Bindo. Young Oscar had live on the streets of an unknown planet for the next several years to come, raiding trashcans daily for food. One day while searching through said trashcans, Oscar found himself becoming stuck. Unable to pull himself from the garbage, the boy was forced to live in the trashcan the next several years. Life was never more difficult for Oscar. However, things finally turned his way when the young puppet met Darth Elmo, who had been instructed to locate and assemble his own planet destruction team. Lord Elmo found Oscar completely repulsive and agreed to hire the boy. As Darth Elmo found the other members, Sesame Street was born.
However, things got worse again when Oscar was thrown out a day later. Unlike the time when Kermit was thrown out of Sesame Street, this had nothing to do with failure to destroy a planet. However, Oscar was thrown out because of "creative differences".[1] However, it has been debated that the real reason he was thrown out was because he was homophobic, and constantly fought with Bert and Ernie. Having no where else to turn, the young man joined the Sith, being trained by the dag nasty evil Darth Pompous Ass. Oscar's transformation into Darth Oscar was complete.
Lord Oscar finally died at the hands of Sesamstraat years later during an attempted domination.
[edit] Darth Donger (April 2009)
Darth Donger, born Darth Donger and sometimes referred to as The Donger, was an Asian stereotype Sith who could never do anything right because he was constantly drunk. Ironically, he also was the sole member of the Duo of Death, inherited to him after accidentally stabbing his master, Piglet and decapitating the other founding member of the duo, HK-47. For many months, Darth Donger tried to get hired for a mission. Of course, nobody would hire him for fear of accidentally getting killed themselves.
At age eighteen, Darth Donger had accidentally destroyed fifty-six planets making him one of the biggest doofuses, if not the biggest, in the entire galaxy. Turning age twenty-four, Darth Donger officially joined the Sith Order where he trained with the group, the Brat Pack, to emulate the amazing power of Darth Elmo's Fire into their line of work. Darth Donger failed, however, killing the entire group in a freak paper-cutting accident. The Sith Masters were extremely displeased with the boy and banned him from the entire galaxy, as Dogner ventured off into a zany trail of a series of comedic adventures. The Donger lived on his own for several hundred years until journeying back to the galaxy and accidentally killing every person on every planet in the entire galaxy in an incident later named "The Great Boom." Mankind was no more, as Darth Donger yelped out a quirky, "Oopsy-daysy!" Not long after, Darth Donger accidentally dropped an inflatable forklift on his head, stabbed himself, and ended mankind for good.
[edit] Darth Dateline NBC (May 2009)
Darth Dateline NBC was an evil Sith Mega-Super-Overlord best known for hosting his own holo-program, "To Catch a Geek". Darth Dateline NBC, also known as Chris, came into existence when Darth Boner, a really perverted guy, began hitting on a group of younger women, hoping to have relations with them. Before Boner knew it, a deadly parasite burst out of his chest, instantly killing the man in a freak incident. Several days later, that parasite spawned into a man named Chris.
At first, Chris didn't know where to turn. But after being interviewed by several reporters, Chris found himself getting an offer to host his own holo-program, regularly busting people like his "father". Chris gladly accepted the offer and began his work hosting the holo-program, now named "To Catch a Geek". One of Chris's first jobs was to secretly penetrate the perverted Darth Fellatio's Sith forces and train **cough** under him, a task Chris gladly accepted. As he joined with the Sith, Chris began his training, something which he actually enjoyed. By the end of the training, Chris's "transformation" into Darth Dateline NBC was complete. During training, Chris was able to gain enough information to put an end to Darth Fellatio's empire. However, in an odd move, the man held the information back, preferring his title as Darth Dateline NBC over any other. It was at this point that Darth Dateline NBC knew he was never returning from the Sith.
After several years of having his title, the producers of "To Catch a Geek" began growing suspicious as Chris's training was only supposed to last two weeks and they had yet to hear from him. The producers realized their host may in fact never return and sent a team in the retrieve him. However, upon their arrival, the men were all captured by Darth Fellatio who held them hostage and, um... tortured them using his signature torture move. **ahem** Just at this time, Dateline NBC walked in and discovered the horror of Fellatio's torture upon the men. Feeling a small amount of guilt, but really just pity, Darth Dateline NBC killed his master, earning the title of Sith Mega-Super-Overlord. Incidentally, he killed the producers, as well, taking over his former show and reclaiming it as his own.
Darth Dateline NBC began hosting the show out of his garage daily, busting perverts. Being as he was now a Sith, Dateline NBC had to change the concept of the show a bit, making it so only the Jedi were the ones being busted. After ten strong years of this, Darth Dateline NBC when, while raiding the Ebon Hawk in search for Revan, was killed upon meeting Mission Vao. Finding the fourteen year-old Twi'lek absolutely beautiful, Dateline NBC's groin exploded, putting an end to the Sith Lord's reign of pervert busting.
[edit] Darth Secret (June 2009)
Darth Secret, also known as Darth Vader's secret apprentice, Satan and Darth He-Who-Has-Yet-To-Be-Named, was an Ultra-Uber-Badass Sith who was trained as Darth Vader's secret apprentice. He was also really awesome and kewl with a capital "K". He could totally use the Force to push Star Destroyers about the place without breaking a sweat. Yeah, he could totally whup Palpatine's prune ass. Blindfolded. And he could beat God at arm-wrestling…
...Nah, that's going too far. Occasionally, the apprentice had strange cravings for Alaskan Burritos and another look at Aayla Secura. Darth Secret feared only God and the Energizer Bunny and he claimed that he had some of God's powers, including the power to destroy your planet just by thinking about it. Darth Secret had tried to practice this without much progress. He was an avid fan of the Boston Red Sox, whom he claims inspired his uber-powerful lightsaber creation dubbed "killer". Additionally, Darth Secret "secretly" enjoys raisin muffins.
[edit] Darth Pompous Ass (July 2009)
Darth Pompous Ass, born Mike Honcho and nicknamed <insert name here>, was one of the geekiest Sith Mega-Super-Overlords that ever roamed the galaxy. And to add to that, he was a complete pompous ass! What a jerk <insert name here> was.
As Mike Honcho was born to parents Jimbo Porkins and Lupe, life was difficult for young Mike. Constantly teased by his imaginary friends, Mike was mostly known to the galaxy as <insert name here>, a name said imaginary friends would taunt him with daily. Even his brother, Jek Porkins, would bully him. And, uh **cough**, have you seen Jek Porkins? Perhaps the biggest blow to <insert name here>'s life was when the bombsquad raided the family's home one night in search for Jimbo, who just narrowly escaped with his Mexican sex-slave, Lupe. <insert name here> and Jek were seperated as <insert name here> was sold into the spice circuit, being adopted by the Sith Lord Darth Boner at a young age. As <insert name here> grew into geek-hood, Boner began training the boy in the ways of the Force. By age fifteen, <insert name here> had transformed into the uber-pompous ass, Darth Pompous Ass. His first mission was to bring peace to his father's Sith Order, The Order of the Boner, a task he failed because he was far too busy being annoying. Because of this, Boner ended up loosing his right leg up the ass of his apprentice. Pompous Ass left the order in search for a Sith Order of his own.
By twenty-three, Darth Pompous Ass had done just that, creating Pompous Asses United, a chess club for Sith. Many Sith joined Pompous Ass, but many also left upon finding what kind of person Pompous truly was. It was at this point the man began training an apprentice of his own, Darth Oscar, passing down every bit of his pompous ass ways to the Puppet. Proud of his achievements, the man rewarded Oscar with the title Sith Mega-Super-Overlord, a title he himself had yet to attain. Nonetheless, Darth Oscar was still a Mega-Super-Overlord. However, only weeks later, he was finally rewarded with said title, only to turn it down and depart from the Sith, once again becoming <insert name here>.
Still, <insert name here>'s time with the Sith was not over. Not long after, <insert name here> began allying himself with Darth Ipedia, spreading threats across the galaxy of mass-planet destruction. However, <insert name here>'s reign of terror came to an end as he was brutally killed by Darth Ipedia himself.
[edit] Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship (August 2009)
The Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship, later known as the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Imperial Gunship and Secret Apprentice One, was a gunship created by a group of Kaminoan scientists led by Taun Kiwi, Taun We's brother, and consisted of a normal gunship and five mutated Kaminoans. As the normal Kaminoans took the body parts of four mutated Kaminoans and put them into the gunship, they were put in places where the normal gunships had computers that needed to be operated by clones. As you might have guessed,... one of the five mutated Kaminoans wasn't cut to pieces and placed somewhere inside the ship. This last Kaminoan was very important... he was "spare parts" in case the parts of the other Kaminoans malfunctioned or got shot. After the clone Wars it became one of Darth Vader's secret apprentices and killed many Jedi.
[edit] Jean-Luc Picard (September 2009)
Jean-Luc Picard, also known as Locutus of Borg, Baldy, Chrome Dome, Captain Hair, Colin Mochrie, Gay, Professor X, and "The British French guy", was the captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise, as told by The Picard Song. Picard was born the daughter of Asajj Ventress and her blow-up husband Bea Arthur on Rattatak, the homeworld of the baldies. When she was just a little girl, Jean-Luc was kidnapped by the evil forces of Mandalore the G*nkist and subjected to marathons of The Facts of Life for hours a day. It was during this time the young girl became absolutely infatuated with Natalie, further maddening the Mandalore. While watching the marathons one day, Jean-Luc found herself surrounded by dozens of Jedi Knights in an attempt to stop the Mandalore's reign of terror. Picard giddily began screaming girlishly until one of the Jedi Knights found and took the young girl to the Jedi academy on Coruscant. There, Picard began her training in the ways of the Force as a Jedi padawan.
Tragedy struck the girl when she was brutally stabbed through the chest during a raid on the temple by Dookie. The person who stabbed Picard turned out to be none other than her mother, Asajj who had since allied herself with the Sith and Dookie. Stunned by what she was seeing, Jean-Luc was taken and trained by her mother, just as the Jedi Knight had done months before. She trained in the ways of the Dark Side of the Force for weeks until she finally transformed into the nicely evil Darth Five-Head. It was also during this time that she developed a romance with the corpse of Wookiee Goldberg, often telling the Wookiee her deepest secrets. As Darth Five-Head developed her own Sith empire, she found herself reverting back to her non-evil ways and was eventually kicked out of the Sith.
During a personal mission to destroy Sesamstraat, the Dutch Sesame Street sub-division, Darth Five-Head murdered all four members including founder Pino. As a result, Sesamstraat's supplier, Meneer Aart, sought his revenge on Five-Head and attempted to kill her, blowing the woman's ship up and launching her back into the Nexus.
It remains a mystery what ever happened to Jean-Luc Picard. Why she's on this wiki is beyond us. She'll be deleted before the night is over, but created again by some super geek.
[edit] Bao-Dur (October 2009)
Bao-Dur was a Tech Specialist who single-handedly ended the Mandalorian Wars by activating the Mass PWN Generator. Years after, he joined the Exile in her unique quest and traveled around the Galaxy, only to be left on board of the Ebon Hawk by the player, because he was useless and lazy anyway. Or was he? Read More
