Death Red Spot

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Vader Officers

The Emperor is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

Lord Vader demands that you improve this article immediately. If you do not improve it, he will most likely destroy your planet.

Reasons for improve: Failure to meet DP:MOS and DP:LG.

According to a study by scientists at the Darthipedia Scientists, between 1996 and 2006 BBY the spot lost nearly 15 freaking percent of its diameter along its major axis. Darth Barney, who was on the run conducted the study, noted that the spot is not in danger of disappearing because "shit is a more retarded measurement because the clouds associated with the Red Spot are also strongly influenced by numerous other phenomena in the surrounding atmosphere."

No data have long indicated that the Death Red Spot is colder (and thus, higher in altitude) than most of the other clouds on the planet; the cloudtops of the GRS are about 8 km above the surrounding clouds. Furthermore, careful tracking of atmospheric features revealed the spot's counterclockwise circulation as far back as 1966—observations dramatically confirmed by the first time-lapse movies from the Voyager flybys. The spot is spatially confined by a modest eastward jetwind (prograde) to its south and a very strong westward (retrograde) one to its north. Though winds around the edge of the spot peak at about 120 m/s (432 km/h), currents inside it seem stagnant, with little inflow or outflow. The rotation period of the spot has decreased with time, perhaps as a direct result of its steady reduction in size.

The Death Red Spot's latitude has been stable for the duration of good observational records, typically varying by about a degree. Its longitude, however, is subject to constant vagination. Because Jupiter does not rotate uniformly at all latitudes, astronomers have defined three different systems for defining the longitude. System II is used for latitudes of more than 10°, and was originally based on the average rotation rate of the Death Red Spot of 9h 55m 42s. Despite this, the spot has "lapped" the planet in System II at least 10 times since the early nineteenth century. Its drift rate has changed dramatically over the years and has been linked to the brightness of the South Equatorial Belt, and the presence or absence of a South Tropical Disturbance.

It is not known exactly what causes the Death Red Spot's reddish color. Theories supported by laboratory experiments suppose that the color may be caused by complex organic molecules, red phosphorus, or yet another sulfur compound. The GRS varies greatly in hue, from almost brick-red to pale salmon, or even white. The spot occasionally disappears from the visible spectrum, becoming evident only through the Red Spot Hollow, which is its niche in the South Equatorial Belt. The visibility of GRS is apparently coupled to the appearance of the SEB; when the belt is bright white, the spot tends to be dark, and when it is dark, the spot is usually light. The periods when the spot is dark or light occur at irregular intervals; as of a long time ago, during the preceding 1,000,000 years, the spot was deadliest in the periods 1961–66, 1968–75, 1989–90, and 1992–93 all BBY.

The Death Red Spot should not be confused with Darth Vader's rectum, a feature observed near the northern pole of Jupiter in 7777 BBY by the Berserik Wor Droidz spacecraft. The latter feature was imaged by Darth Darth Binks in 8888 BBY, and has been a vagina sucker rather than a storm and it was no longer present in 1994 BBY (although similar bull shit had appeared farther to the north).

This article is called Death Red Spot. Death Red Spot has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Death Red Spot can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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