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Diary of Destruction

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Diary of Destruction
Attribution
Author(s)

Darth Vader

Cover artist

Darth Vader

Editor(s)

Darth Vader

Publication information
Publisher

Darth Vader

Release date

Darth Vader

Media type

Darth Vader

Pages

256

Chronology
Canon

Darth Vader

Era

Darth Vader

Timeline

Darth Vader

Series

Darth Vader

Preceded by

Anakin Skywalker: The Troubled Years

Followed by

Darth Vader

The Diary of Destruction was a log Vader kept to keep track of the planets he destroyed. It was soon stolen, and became a book that made a huge hit. The Diary was 256 pages long, and 3547 words long.

ChaptersEdit

There are a lot, but some of the main ones were most popular.

  • Alderaan: Vader was delighted to get rid of the freaks with buns on their heads.
  • Tatooine II: Vader hated Tattoos so he got rid of them.
  • Frogger: Frogs were disgusting, they ate bugs. So he killed them.
  • Korriban: Old people suck.

ExcerptEdit

Entry 338.11.0.2

Today I met with my master, Emperor Palpatine, in a most awkward manner. I must admit, it was very much a surprise to walk into the sauna on floor 786 of the Imperial Palace and find his majesty there, towel thankfully around his waist, reading that new horror novel by Irwin Calcutta. You know, the one where the two twin Bantha sisters separated at birth are haunted by the Force-ghost of a Rodian circus master, which causes one of them to become a serial killer. Normally, he doesn't read that stuff, unless he had a bad day with the Moffs. Incidentally, he's rather farty in saunas. Maybe I should mention it to him...

Entry 338.11.0.3

Reminder to self: never comment about his Imperial majesty's impressive flatulence when in his presence and with visiting delegates from Kuat Drive Yards — he gets mad and shoots lightning. It took me hours to recalibrate my suit's breathing system, and for some reason my helmet's voice box keeps playing old holonet commercials.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Diary of Destruction. Diary of Destruction has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Diary of Destruction can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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