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Dicktoucho Hoolihan

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Dicktoucho Hoolihan is a fictional gay hispanic Nemoidian Jedi.

He is well known throughout the Galaxy as being the greatest Jedi who ever lived, as well as the official champion for life of the Correllian Masturbate-a-Thon. He also was in the Phantom Menace. Really, you just gotta look hard. REAAAAAAALLY HARD (Before the scene with the droids, but after the one with the ship). He is only tangentially related to The Shockmaster. He is responsible for the widely-held theory that inside-out is wiggida-wiggida-wiggida wack. He is also a Juggalo, and is well known for sneaking massive cases of Faygo and meth into the Jedi Temple, which he would often split with Ki-Adi-Mundi.


Early LifeEdit

Dicktoucho was born a poor black child in the outskirts of San Jose before moving to Yavin at the age of 3. His homosexuality was latent at first, but he willing experimented with plastic Darth Vader and Black Barbie dolls from the age of 7 until he was 31. His hispanic background only came about after an experience with a FedEx truck after a shift at a Qdoba he worked at to pay off his student loans. During his teenage years, he was the unfortunate owner of one of those crappy gamertags/PSN names with XxX and CaPiTaLiZaTiOn like this.

Stuff Dicktoucho DidEdit

The question is often asked, what did Dicktoucho Hoolihan, greatest of Jedi, actually do? Well, uh, he did, uh, some stuff. Also, he was at the Battle of Yavin. Yeah, that's right. Also, he was at the medal ceremony at the end of New Hope, despite dying in the Battle of Yavin, because...continuity. That's about it. Except for the time he raped and murdered a girl in 1990 (ABY)

Met LL Cool J on the street once. He seemed very nice and even signed Dicktoucho's headpiece. Taller in person than the videos would make you think.

Once had a late, drunken, sexy night with Obi Wan that he doesn't feel like bringing up and appreciates his friends not talking about it anymore. Sometimes, he cries a little about it when Dances with Ewoks is mentioned, but he always says that he had something in his eye.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Dicktoucho Hoolihan. Dicktoucho Hoolihan has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Dicktoucho Hoolihan can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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