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Elvis

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ElvisSolo
Elvis Solo
Biographical information
Homeworld

Memphis

Born

Rock'n and a Rollin all the day long

Died

Hell Boy

Physical description
Species

Singer

Gender

Male

Hair color

Slick

Eye color

Blue

Chronological and political information
Affiliation
  • K*ngism
  • Grammy and the Nuns (formerly)
  • Princes of Rock
Known masters

Darth Kong

"You ain't nothing but a womp rat!"
―One of the most famous lines from Elvis' song, Womp Rat

Elvis Graham Solo know as The King, Grammy, The King of Grammy's, the other Solo, Han's bro, or just Elvis was born on the planet Memphis in the Corellian Sector. He was separated at birth from his more famous brother, Han. Elvis was given to a group of nuns to be raised by, while his brother became a worker at young age. The nuns discovered he had an amazing singing voice after realizing he sucked at everything else in life. They helped him develop his singing voice and they created a band, Grammy and the Nuns. It fell through, unsuprisingly, and Elvis realized he would not become famous with the nuns dragging him down. He left his first band and formed a second, Princes of Rock.

The BandEdit

Creating the BandEdit

Elvis recruited Kermit, Darth Whats-his-face, and Anakin for his band, Princes of Rock. Kermit on lead guitar, Whogivesashit on bass, and Anakin on drums, while Elvis was on piano and lead vocals. Of course this was all wrong because Elvis played guitar and Kermit played piano, while Anakin played bass and Uh-you-know-who-I'm-talking-about... played drums. This caused the end of the bands short lived fame.

Ending itEdit

The band started falling apart when Anakin wanted to be lead vocals, even though Elvis was better. Then Elvis started having air-guitar solos even though he was on piano. Kermit tried to play his guitar with his teeth and Aww-fuck-it-I-can't-remember-his-name felt he wasn't appreciated. Anakin left for the Vongets, another band, Kermit ended up in the hospital with third-degree burns on his tongue, and You-know-who-I'm-talking-about left for his mother. It was the beginning of Elvis' solo career.

Solo ArtistEdit

Elvis began his very popular solo career with songs such as "Womp Rat" and his own version of the "Ewok Gangsta Rap". He entertained at Jabba's Palace, the Emperor's palace, the palace of the Gamoreean Queen, and at many fancy establishments across the galaxy. Then he was approached by one of Darth Kong's underlings, Ashole Tano. Ashole wanted Elvis to entertain the troops aboard the planet destroying superweapon, Skull Station. Elvis agreed and boarded the space station the next week.

Skull Station and K*ngismEdit

Elvis was very happy with his job and his new mentor, Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise taught him that every one in show business has to be in a weird religion, so why didn't Elvis join this one. Elvis, who had no reason to like or dislike G*nkism, decided it would be fine if he denounced his Catholic upbringing and join the anti-G*nk militant religion known as K*ngism. He did not go on raids with the others because one, he sucked at everything except music and two, he was needed to entertain the crew that stayed back. Then a few weeks after he became a K*ngist, he had a vision.

The VisionEdit

After coming back to his quarters after a long show, Elvis fell asleep very quickly one night. He had a dream, he explained to his friends later, and the nuns who took care of him when he was a kid came to him. They said that if Elvis didn't denounce K*ngism, they would kill him. All his friends, even Tom Cruise laughed at this. Nuns don't kill people, they would say, but Elvis watched his back every step of the way. He soon found out his friends were wrong.

N.U.N.S.Edit

These were no normal nuns that attacked him in the middle of the night a few days later. They were Ninjas Uber-pwning n00b Sauce, enterprises. If it weren't for the intervention of Kong's right hand man, Darth Hancock, Elvis would've been dead. Darth Hancock fought off these crazies and well, that was that.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Elvis. Elvis has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Elvis can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
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