- "BERRRT!! BERRRT!! I just EMBEZZLED money, Bert!"
- ―Ernie, to Bert, after siphoning credits from the Imperial Bank of Byss
Ernie was a member of Sesame Street. He weighed over 120,000 pounds, but used Force small, which made him smaller. His brother was Bert, and was known to be associated with the Yuuzhan Vong. And they killed Chewbacca. BASTARDS!!! After the departure of the rest of Sesame Street, he teamed up with the white dudes ugly beyond all reason and helped murder Chewbacca. NO!!!!
- "Rub-a-dub-dub! In a tub! I love my penis!"
- ―Ernie, singing
It has been rumored that he once had a homosexual affair with his own brother, Bert. This is supported by the fact that images have been found showing parts of the incident. The images depicted Bert's pants around his legs and [CENSORED BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO WRONG]. Other images have since turned up. Including a video captured by Darth Bob of Ernie and Bert doing...... lets not go there, Ernie became depressed after the video was released and shrunk to a "Meager" 199,999 pounds, sometime later, the depression became to much and Ernie strapped a bomb to himself and was blown into a Gazillion Peaces.