"The faiooza were terrible things. Hard kill... smelly..."
―Some guy

The Faiooza after a milky breakfast.

The Faiooza belong to a species that live in the Cona system and are mainly sentient parasites that can create stupid phrases like: "we're the only ones who can do anything in the whole galaxy". Usually mistaken by Mynocks, these species, instead of chewing cables, tend to attack humans to commit strange rituals like proclaiming themselves as the first and only parasites. They are very rare and tend to be lonely while attempting to kill any opposition. They were genetically modified to the aspect of Gungans or dogs.


Virtually hairless, they are the size of standard human with some issues. Their skin is polished and bright. They release a distinctive odor that resembles sewage.They are perfectly distinguishable in the darkness since their bald head glows in the dark. They have a very strange vocabulary system, basically composed of strange noises and grunts.

They are hermaphrodites, meaning that you can't really say if they're really male or female, and usually you just guess it. But don't bother. 90% pick female status, although not defined but usually confirmed by laying eggs (or better known as Posts) and the other 10% choose to be nothing at all and die into oblivion.

Social Life Edit

There's none.

Variants Edit

Please, thank God they're the only ones...

History Edit

"We shall rule the Galaxy like Master and Slave!"
―Gaylord The Thankfully Ultimate

After a dark period of non-existence (called the Times Before the Faioozas or TBF) in their long and sad history, they were non-sentient beings, deprived of social groupings and were reported to be quite hostile to other beings, wherever they inhabited.

Then, in a period of prosperity about 1 TAF (Times After the Faioozas), there came the One, the Suck'ari, whom the Faiooza community called the "Master Gaylord", that according to their prophecy would be "someone who would do a few things and called himself the greatest".

The Gaylord then gathered the faioozas (by then three or four) and with the help of the "Big Bad Mandas" (bounty hunters, scoundrels, they loved them), tried to conquer the galaxy and fill it with their doctrines of "Alone is better", also known as the "Sissy Side of the Force" or "plain stupidity".

Their attempts led to the establishment of the Pink Empire. The dominated piece of the galaxy was Naboo (which they renamed as Nakuu).

When they thought their victory was imminent, there came those known "People who couldn't care less!", Rebels against this "Pink Empire".

Then the Gaylord instated the "Rule of the Gay Two": "Only one master and one slave" and vanished into unknown whereabouts, but then again no one followed him or his apprentice known as "He who's name we can't even find the patience to come up with"(or in short "The other Guy"), to know where he was... Like always.

The Gaylord of the Faioozas went into oblivion, thus the reign of the sentient Faioozas died and so did their attempt to be someone.

There are rumors, though that the Gaylord is still alive, aboard his pink Superstar Destroyer "Fiat Uno"... but no one cared to confirm it...

This article is called Faiooza. Faiooza has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Faiooza can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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