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Firmus Piett

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Colonel Sandurz (changed name to Firmus Piett in 0 ABY)
Biographical information
Homeworld

Manchester, England

Born

Before the rise of Those Bloody Annoying Scum

Died

5 ABY after some bloody drunken fool of a bugger crashed into the jolly ol' Executor

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male

Height

2 Meters

Hair color

Dark and greying

Eye color

Blue

Cybernetics

Cookies and milks dispenser

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

That Bloody Annoying War (also known as the Galactic Civil War)

Affiliation

Galactic Empire

Known masters

Darth Vader

"They're seriously going to attack us, old boy."
―Piett, aboard the Executor before being PWNed by Rebels
"Oh, bugger."
―Piett's last words

Firmus Piett was a fine ol' bloke who replaced jolly old Admiral Ozzel upon the latter's ripping good show of strangulation as induced by Lord Vader. He was famous for, er... (Scratches head) being PWNed by Rebels. Yes. PWNed by Rebels. That'll do.

TriviaEdit

300px-Spaceball1

Firmus Piett and Darth Vader's stand in discuss the wisdom of dealing harshly with illegal Jawa Juice manufacturers

Before joining the Imperial Navy, he was chef for the Imperial Army base on Ryloth and held the rank of Colonel. His specialty was fried chicken. He had a son, Jek Porkins while he was there. He resigned his commission and fled after Porkins' birth, joining the Imperial Navy and changing his name to Firmus Piett (his original name was Sandurz) in order to escape his creditors. It is later discovered that Admiral Piett had a run with the Communist Canadian Mountain Police in 1984, resulting in the lost of both of his parents. He used to have nightmares at night, occasionally wetting his bed.

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Firmus Piett.

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