Zuckuss, Gand findsman

The Gand were silent.

The Gand usually had one or less names.

The Gand were freaky-looking insect-like aliens.

The Gand produced large clutches of offspring and would often eat their young.

The Gand breathed ammonia and were thus flammable and had the distinct odor of stale urine.

In Hindi, Gand means ass.

Apart from that, they were a very mysterious race. So mysterious, in fact, that they would kill me if I told you more about them, which I'm not gonna do. Nope, not me. Go ask a Wookiepedian.

Gand names

Upon birth, the Gand did not name their children, names had to be earned in Gand society. One prerequisite for earning an identity was for a young Gand to survive infancy while the mother eats the rest of the offspring.

The following table shows some Gand and why they got their name. They are in no way related to Zuckuss. All his siblings were eaten.

Name Named for:
Barackuss Pitying the fools!
Bigguss-Dickuss A fwiend of the Empewow. He watched too much Monty Python
Blockuss Addiction to Tetris
Bollockuss Telling bullshit
Buckuss Having antlers
Canuckuss Being a Canadian Gand
Clockuss Always being on time
Cluckuss Having feathers and laying eggs, later married Cockuss
Cockuss Waking everybody up at 5 in the morning
Crockuss His big mouth and tough skin
Duckuss His Uncanny dodging skill
Flockuss Multiple personalities
Fuckuss Extensive fornicating
Happy-go-Luckuss Never having a care in the world
Jockuss Scoring 4 touchdowns in a single game
K'Kruhkuss A crossbreed between a Gand and a Whiphid
Knockuss Never being able to find a doorbell
Lockuss Never being able to open a door
Mockuss Taunting others
Molochuss Being the most evil Gand
Muckuss Poor personal hygiene
Nun-Chuckuss Being the first Gand ninja
Pick-up-Truckuss Being a redneck
Pluckuss His courage
Puckuss Mischievous trickster Gand, the jester to the Fairy King
Rockuss Defeating Appolo Creed in the final round
Rukhuss For killing a Gand Admiral
Schmuckuss Being a klutz
Snuckuss Being a cat-burglar
Spartackuss He was Spartackuss
Spartackuss No he was Spartackuss
Spockuss Logic, he was also part Sephi
Stockuss Quartermaster of note
Uncle Ruckus No relation
Yuckuss Food poisoning
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Gand.

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