Gilad Pellaeon was a jolly old bloke who was in the Navy known for his old-fashioned British accent and skills at orbital bombardment. He also wasn't as wimpy as Luke Skywalker, but not as beefy as Darth Vader or the Sith.
He was born on Corellia, but his parents moved to Coruscant with the name Gilad, when his pop misspelled Gideon. Gilad's first job was to fry fish and chips. By the age of 19, he had a reputation as the best baseball player and fish fryer on the entire planet. Pellaeon got a bachelor's degree in Naval Combat/How to destroy fleets just by using lots of guns after he was expelled from the university of G*nk for "Attempting to bomb the training area."
Clone Wars and aftermathEdit
Pellaeon was drafted into the navy at the age of 20, quickly rising to the captaincy of the HMS Droidbuster. Well, he almost blew up Grievous at some rock in space. Pellaeon won 30 battles single handily, but the Jedi got the Credit for some reason. It seemed that orbital bombardment was the only option to the HMS Droidbuster. By the time, Anakin Skywalker sliced off the confederate leaders' heads off, no more then 81.17% of droids were devastated by the navy. In comparison, the clone troopers had only gunned down 16.86% of the confederacy's droids and lived and died in the trenches. Gilad then used his fame to construct a monument to Darth Vader ensuring his loyalty to then empire.
- Gilad: "Sir, we'll probably have to destroy their planet."
- Thrawn: "Elementary!"
- — Gilad and Thrawn
Overheard on the Chimaera's Senior officer diner/hailing roomEdit
Gilad: Tea, Earl Grey, hot.
Tschel: You sound like a Star Trek guy.
Gilad: This is an Imperial Star Destroyer, not a Trekkie fan club.
Stormtrooper Captain: I got all the guns in this ship.
One of the scaly people that like Thrawn: Come on, even I KNOW YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A 6 pack.
Gilad: Break it up I am in charge here.
- pulls out pistol and aims at both*
His ship by the time of the Battle of Endor was like all cool.
His lasers nearly shot down Wedge Antilles, but he realized it was teatime and retreated. Well, his ship flew all round Wales till some absolutely brilliant Chiss fellow came up, and the ship became known as the best butt kicker in the Empire, machine-gunning 5 planets to submission. He worked for the Chiss guy. But the Chiss guy died, so the ship flew around Scotland for a year, shooting down X-wings and other pesky aircraft again, bringing Darth Ackbar to his knees. Meanwhile he tried to get the entire empire back together with Admiral Natasi Daala. This resulted in a battle in which a group of Star Destroyers advanced towards Jedi Headquarters. The Jedi still panicking after Luke Skywalker told the Padawans some ghost stories became victims of Gilad's powah. The Jedi were saved when Kyle Katarn destroyed the fleet. Luke later claimed the entire Jedi Order's power was involved to impress Cal Omas.
Deciding it was teatime, he surrendered, only to rule the entire empire by himself, declaring himself Dark Lord of the Stormtroopers.
Nothing to say there, but he was awarded the Imperial War Veteran Prize. Meanwhile, he was bossed people around in his office saying it was time to clean up his teapot and dust off the Empire's and New Republic's planets. 18 years later the bastards who killed the well-known Chewbacca invaded the galaxy.
His last Mushroom CloudEdit
Hence teatime was up, he declared war on Nom Anor, and roasted the coralskippers on a stick. The result was a delicacy even Darth Ackbar could enjoy and was promoted by the New Republic to be the Lobbyist in Chief for the empire's stormtroopers who were being tempted to go target practice on local police. (New Republic police were even worse shots then the worst shots in this galaxy.
- Trafalgar: Victory
- Heir to the Empire
- Live and Let Die cameo
- The Hound Of Corellia
- Star Wars: the Legacy of Whiners
- His Last Mushroom Cloud and Cheese Making: Part 55
- All Lord Vader's Men, comedy
- Star Trek: The Final Frontier and I'll never heil again