God

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,799,551 articles

God (A.K.A: Kyle Katarn)
Biographical information
Homeworld	The blessed place of Sulon
Born	Dawn of time
Died	NEVER
Physical description
Species	God
Gender	Male
Height	whatever he wants it to be
Hair color	see beard
Eye color	Laser beam shooting
Cybernetics	Multidimensional pockets of infinite storage space.
Personal shit
Chronological and political information
Era(s)	all of them
Affiliation	PWN
Known masters	NO person commands GOD!
Known apprentices	Everybody else

[Source]

"When Kyle Katarn does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes Nar Shaddaa down."

―Random and Totally True Kyle Katarn Fact

God, otherwise known as Kyle Katarn or Mandalore the Bearded by all lesser mortals, is the exact opposite of just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe. Kyle Katarn makes the universe through His mere presence within it.

He kicks ass, chews gum, takes names and sleeps with your wife in the process. He’s just a guy with a lightsaber, some questions and the ability to destroy your planet just by thinking about it. He is the wielder of the Shoulderpad of Power, which is actually grafted onto His skin. As an indicator of His pure kick-ass-ness, He has a beard. Basically, Kyle Katarn rocks your freakin’ socks off. He also has trans-dimensional pockets, allowing Him to carry objects such as rocket launchers in His pants with no discomfort—and is thusly able to answer "Both" to the question, "Is that a rocket launcher in Your pocket or are You just pleased to see me?".

Jacen Solo once tried to PWN him, but Kyle used Force Beard Deflection by catching the lightsaber on his beard, shorting the lightsaber out until Mount Sorrow stopped crying. Kyle then shot his Bryar pistol in the air, causing a Star Destroyer to crash on Jacen's head. This prompted Jacen to write the top ten hit, "Another One Bites the Durasteel."

And you shall know His name is the Lord when He lays His vengeance upon thee…in roughly .2 parsecs' time.

Oh, he also killed Wormie and scored with Mara Jade Skywalker to which they had 25 children that all became sexy redbearded Jedi.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on God.