Gordon Shumway
Biographical information





A.S.A.P. Please

Physical description





About 1.30 meters

Hair color


Eye color



Who knows?

Chronological and political information

Sith Wannabe

"You can shave a nerf many times, but you can only skin him once."


Gordon Shumway was a failed stand up comedian who tried to become a Sith Lord. After Animal Goldberg Fett Destroyed his planet he found himself stuck on Earth (where ever the hell that is). During a visit to Utah (the birthplace of Evil) he decided to become a Sith Lord. He made a checklist in order so make sure he had everything a Sith Lord should have.

Rise and fallEdit

First off, he needed a lightsaber, which he created from junk in Willie's garage. Second of all, he needed a really sinister cloak, which he made from Willie's curtains. Thirdly, he needed a secret Sith temple from where he would execute his heinous plans, he used Willie's fishing lodge on Hoth as a base of operations.

Now with his Sith checklist complete nothing stood in the way of his everlasting dominion......... or so he thought. Willie, however, was extremely pissed off with Gordon Shumway and kicked him in the balls for destroying his curtains and stealing his Alaskan fishing lodge. Gordon Shumway ignited his lightsaber to finish Willie off, only to realize it was not working, then he tried to fry his former minion with Force lightning which was successful for a period. Willie was knocked down and his glasses were removed from his dorky face. Just when Gordon Shumway was about to finish his adversary off, Willie picked up his glasses and some sunlight passed through. As the beams hit the glass they were magnified and scorched Gordon down to a crisp.

The end

This article is called Gordon Shumway. Gordon Shumway has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Gordon Shumway can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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