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Gospel of Revan

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The Gospel of Revan was the sacred text of the Temple of Revan cult. It was written nineteen standard years after its subject had left for the Unknown Regions and held biographical accounts of his wanderings.

ExcerptEdit

Parable of the MandalorianEdit

And it came to pass that in those days when Malak the Unjawed didst wage war upon the Republic, Holy Revan and his disciples, the Blessed Bindo and Canderous the Faithful, didst trod upon the Sith world of Korriban. Here were they met by a woman and with her, two men.

Now this woman, Lashowe being her name, was a pupil at the Force temple thereat. She spake thus to her fellows, saying; "Harken and look, my friends! See you these strangers and the Jedi who leads them! His like I have not yet seen!"

Then was there a murmuring between the two men for Jedi were little loved in that place. But Canderous spake unto them thus, "Begone, child! For thou wish not to trouble us lest trouble thou find in full!"

With mocking laughter did Lashowe reply, saying, "Ware, stranger! Here do Sith as they would! And Sith we be..."

Said Holy Revan unto Lashowe, "You may try to kill me... You would fail, but you may try..."

Said Lashowe unto Holy Revan, "You speak bravely, sir. Know you not how many Sith there be upon this world?"

Then did speak the Blessed Bindo with sharp tongue, saying, "Twelve? No, wait, thirteen!"

And Canderous did praise his words to which the Blessed Bindo answered thus, with a saying of wisdom as he oft did; "My thanks to you. Effort it takes to be properly irreverant at my age."

And lo! the two men would verily have fought Holy Revan and his disciples. But Lashowe restrained them for Holy Revan did fill her with awe. She demanded of him that he speak a tale, reasoning in her heart that in such a way she could avert his wrath.

And Holy Revan did speak thus:

"Two Mandalorians soldiers were there, and they did walk in a wood... One did collapse. He seemed not to breath and glazed were his eyes. Therefore did his fellow call his commander upon his communicator. To him did he say, 'My fellow has fallen! I know not what to do!' And said the commander unto him, 'Calm yourself, I shall help. First make you sure your fellow is dead.' There came silence from the commander's communicator, then was heard a blaster shot. When again spake the Mandalorian soldier, he said, 'Okay, now what?'"

Said Canderous, "It would have been more realistic if the commander just shot them both..."

Then did Lashowe and her fellows depart in wonder at the wisdom of Holy Revan, the wit of the Blessed Bindo, and the lore of Canderous the Faithful.

See alsoEdit

RicOlieRight
This article is called Gospel of Revan. Gospel of Revan has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Gospel of Revan can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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