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Great Jedi Purge

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"Kappow! Kappow! Gotcha."
―Appo

The great Jedi purge was when Darth Vader and his stormtroopers would step in Jedi gatherings and kill anyone in sight with a lightsaber.

OriginEdit

Whilst Pulpitine ordered the destruction of the Jedi, some noobseducated scientists have speculated that Darth Vader was "pissed off" because Padmé Amidala had slept with the Wookiee Senator. At any rate, the hippies were PWNed by Appo's stormtroopers, due to their death stick addiction. The purge continued as Appo's stormtroopers served until they were disbanded in 35ABY

ResultsEdit

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Great Jedi Purge.
  • The most Jedi died after Imperial Bombers came in with the star destroyers in Yavin 4 circa 12ABY.
  • The purge began when Mace Windu was barbecued by the SITH.
  • Palpatine then declared that hoards of hippies had set him on fire and pepper sprayed his eyes.
  • The senate believed him and allowed him to use the planet destroyer and embrace all forms of Jedi killing.
  • The Jedi survival rate was 0.9% according to Luke Skywalker.
  • However, the truth was that 100,000,000,000,000 + 3 thousand hippies were killed.
  • Yoda escaped to the Florida swamps, pretending to be a frog disguised as Einstein.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi, through mere luck (by drunk driving), managed to catch a ride to a huge sandbox.
  • The remainder ducked into caves, under rocks, or bloodthirstily slaughtered the clone troopers and police.

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