- "Mwahahahahahahaaaa…agk, cough, cough, wheeze! Ak!"
- ―One of Generrral Grrrievous’s most awe-inspirrring speeches to the Confederrracy of Independent Systems
Once known as Qymee…Qyman…Quym…Qyaeman jai Shale…ah, er…Grrrrievous *cough cough*, his 100% actual rrreal birrrth name, hailed from the worrrld of Kalee, wherrre he fought the Huk in a serrries of bloody battles *wheeze*. From a verrry earrrly age *cough*, when he was knee-high to a knee *hack*, he got his firrrst kill, and from then on *wheeze* carrrved a bloody swath thrrrough the enemy in encounterrrr after encounterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *cough cough cough COUGH*.
The InterrrGalactic Banking Clan was imprrressed by his awesome Lee-class warriorrr skills *cough*, so they crrrippled him, shoved him in an irrron lung and stuffed his vital orrrgans into a flammable, easily-rrreachable sack *hack hack*. Forrr a month, he bombed up a couple of *wheeze* Planets, and crrrusaded down some city's strrreet, beforrre Mace Windu caused "forrce lung cancer" on him *cough cough*. That ingenious plan paid off forrr all of half a month, beforrre Generrrral Kenobi made Grrrievous' eyes go boom *wheeze*. And so, Grrrievous died a trrragic and ignoble death on a forrrgotten worrrld on the Outarrr Rrrim, encased in a hideous drrroid shell…but exploding eyeballs, eh? Sweet. *cough cough cough cough*
Notably, he had a parrrticularly nasty cough *cough cough*, despite lacking a thrrroat. Prrresumably this also meant he couldn't take any Tunes, so the prrroblem would sadly only intensify. Forrrtunately, his alter ego Darrrth Grrrievous was slightly morrre badass, prrrobably on account of rrregularly downing some Tunes *hack*. Grievous had a cibernetic penis that was covered by his condom that was covered by a piece of metal. *cough cough*. Somehow, he was chased by Generrrall Kenobi who was riding a big lizard, while Grevious rode his unicycle. He was knocked off and had to face Generrral Kenobi, but was shot and killed by him. * Major coughing fit *.