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Hapes Consortium

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"Don't you have a stun collar or something for him?"
―A random Hapan
The Hapes Consortium, also known unofficially as the Herpes Consort, were fascist Hapan bitches dykes babes of the galaxy, who are somehow considered the good guys. Oh, and did you know they hate the Jedi Order, all because, like, three thousand years ago, the Jedi busted up their ancient gang of pirates? Pretty pathetic to hold a grudge for that long, but then, that doesn't even hold a candle to the Sith's gripe-fest.
Lrm72z0c

Don't mess with the hot chick or you have to deal with the badass Jedi/Sith.

During the Swarm War, Jacen Solo convinced the Hapans to fight on the side of the buggers.

At the time of the Second Galactic Civil War, the Hapes Consortium was ruled by a one-armed hottie named Tenel Ka who, despite her baby face, could whip your arse with a lightsaber any day of the week. She had a fling with soon-to-be Sith Lord Jacen Solo, giving birth to a little Jedi baby named Allana. Okay, so then, a bunch of old-fashioned party-poopers Jedi from the old order decided that it wasn't a good thing to be ruled by a Sith (ya think?), and they started a revolt. This, however, was swiftly put in its place, and the Hapans were free to continue bucking three millennia of "tradition", which is always a good thing.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Hapes Consortium. Hapes Consortium has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Hapes Consortium can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
WookieepediaLogoBouncing
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Hapes Consortium.

One hundred years later, they had developed into a macrocosm of Switzerland; wealthy, neutral, and every citizen an assault rifle.

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