Morgan Katarn
Biographical information

The blessed gardens of Sulon

Physical description


Chronological and political information
"And now, My Son, I bestow upon you the Great Boomstick of Justice. Go forth and do My will."
―Morgan to Kyle, as the divine quest is about to begin

He Who's Loins Hath Sprouted Forth Our Blessed Lord And Saviour, or Morgan Katarn for all you n00bs out there, was in fact the one from whose loins our Blessed Lord And Saviour was sprouted from. He impregnated himself and bore the Lord for twelve standard months, nine of gestation and three more because the Lord didst sleep and none dared disturb His rest and inform Him it was time to be birthed. When the Lord didst stir and be birthed, it was through springing forth, fully bearded, from Morgan's head a la Zeus. This great deed accomplished, Morgan then didst pass fourteen kidney stones, a strenuous effort which caused a great perturbation and created the asteroid fields of Anoat, and from these minerals didst fashion a weapon worthy of his progeny.

According to the Gospel of Morgan, he sacrificed himself so that his Son would finally grow up to his realize his true potential, and PWN the living crap out of everything the Galactic Empire, and other evil beings could throw at Him, so that the galaxy would be made safe for great justice.

Gender disputeEdit

As Morgan was a God Himself, Kyle never had a Mother. Kyle, however, was led to believe that a haywire perimeter droid killed his Mother. These rumors have been proven false, and are now listed as Imperial Propaganda.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on He Who Bared The Beard Before Kyle.