Emperor David Hassel Hoffinator was
some has-been that never was an amazing genius with awesome Force POWWAHHH!!! superior to your pathetic Kyle Katarn. Coincidentally, he was also MANDALORIAN, further proving his awesomeness. For years, he dominated planets. No one opposed him, because they knew they would die. No one would hassle the Hoff and live to tell about it. Except for one. Anita Gofforadump, but we'll hear about that guy/girl/it later. His only weakness was his attraction to Oompa Loompas. In fact, he kept Oompa Loompas as livestock/sex slaves for many years. Here comes Anita... His private dancer, Anita Gofforadump, one of the Oompa Loompas, grew tired of having to perform for him every day. Right before he/she/it was scheduled to visit with Hoffinator, Anita ate the feared Extra-Large Supreme Ultra Large Burrito, causing much disruption in the stomach of the slave. While Anita was in the middle of stripping for the emperor, the Oompa Loompa gave Hoff a "present" (**wink**) and ran off, closing the doors behind him/her. Hoffinator never made it out of that room alive. Many speculate that the only reason Hoff died was because he let the Oompa Loompa live. You know he could have PWND his ass (not sexual innuendo. Hehe, sexual in-your-endo!). Years later, a tradition arose to honor Anita and his/her legacy: The founding of the Mighty Morphin Power Oompsters, a group of Oompa Loompas that dress up as Anita and dance suggestively on the grave of Emperor Hoffinator, as well as doing other things even Jack Nicholson doesn't want to talk about.
Historians who studied Hoffinator's actions now believe that he was infected with the dreaded Nerd's Disease.
Notes and referencesEdit
- ↑ Emperor Hoffinator
- ↑ The Big Book of Oompa Loompas: A Reference Guide for the Oompa Loompa Fans
- ↑ Oompa Loompa