Horse Jedi
Biographical information

Horse Planet

Physical description




Hair color


Chronological and political information


Horse Jedi, also known as Qrrrrrrrl Toq, was a horse Jedi Master from Horse Planet. He was known to give other Jedi rides on his back, and his Force hind leg kick was superb. He is also the father of the first centaur.


Horse Jedi was sent on a mission to question Admin about some missing Padawans. Upon arriving on Alaska, he saw the huge pile of Padawawawan skeletons and body in different states of decomposition, he became mighty sick and puked all over Neighbour. Neighbour wanted to look, what was producing all that stink outside of his stable and come out to get a short peek. Unfortunately Alaska is a planet so damned cold, that all that barf had shock frozen and was really (and I mean really) slick. Neighbour began a slide down right into the pile of Padawawawans and somehow got buried right beneath all of them. Horse Jedi, being a compassionate mount, began burying his way to all the dead wanna-be Jedi until he found Neighbour severely hurt. As fortune struck, Admin came around being bored and so decided to collapse the pile and see, what would become of his neighbour Neighbour and Horse Jedi.

"They were just too weak to become Jedi"
Darth Ban tells Horse Jedi, that they had just been to weak to become Jedi[src]

Unfortunately Horse Jedi was just a Horse, and Neighbour was not exactly easy to lift, so with all the weight of dead Padawawawans atop him he did not manage to free the Alaskan. With an effort, that used up all his remaining POWAHH and force, he was at least able to free himself of all the dead bodies and was at least able to confront Admin. Horse Jedi accused Admin of killing all the dead Padawawawans, while he said they were just to weak to become Jedi. Disturbed by Horse Jedi's apparent lack of fun at killing kids, Darth Bann let out a mighty fart of his mechanical butt, that incinerated Horse Jedi's fur. In the cold air of Alaska and without his protective fur, Horse Jedi went amok and killed many Alaskans with his Force hind leg kick, but in the end he froze like a glass of water. Years later, he was melted from the ice by a rare volcanic event called known as a"Shitstorm". He then traveled back to Earth and got all the bitches he wanted. During these glorius times, a strange new bastard animal was born; the centaur.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Qrrrl Toq.