Imperial recruitment methods

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"Uncle Tarkin wants YOU for the Imperial armed forces!"
―Empire recruitment poster located at a morgue

Imperial recruitment methods were used by the Empire to recruit innocent men into service. The unlucky volunteers would be trained as Stormtroopers and TIE fighter pilots, and sent to fight The Rebels.

Methods of recruitmentEdit

There were several methods of recruitment, one of the most successful methods was Darth Vader's method. Darth Vader used his Force powers to convince people that joining the Empire was the only right choice, he would generally wipe out one city to convince the rest of the planet that they had to join the Empire and supply enough men to keep the rebels from winning the war. If a planet did not join the empire Lord Vader would continue to wipe out cities, villages, small hovels, and opium dens until there was nobody left alive. At this point, the Dark Lord would amuse himself by laying waste to the entire planet.

Another method involved flooding a planet with thousands of posters that would make the male population believe that if they joined the Imperial military they would be surrounded by beautiful women. This method only worked if the planet had never encountered the Empire before (or women) and did not know that the life expectancy of a Stormtrooper was about 10 (10.5 if he got lucky) minutes and that the only women involved would either be bitches with sticks up their asses or among the Rebels that killed them.

This article is called Imperial recruitment methods. Imperial recruitment methods has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Imperial recruitment methods can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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